Monday, May 31, 2010

I Don't Need A Reason To Pretend Anything

The Bubble Helmet makes me insanely happy to begin with. From there it's a short bus ride to the crazy.

Walt And His Special Friend Take A Stagecoach Ride

Let's all be honest with each other - we knew these two vacationed together every chance they got.

It's So True

It's the joke we play as a nation with our North America neighbors. We also don't say 'aboot' or call everyone 'buddy'.

A Message From The Cave Of Cool

If you don't see my regular voluminous posts for the next little bit blame Skynet and the octopus menance for somehow messing up my keyboard. You can't imagine how frustrating it is.

Commie Mints

I don't approve of their economic policy but I do approve of their fresh breath policy. So you see I am torn.

Wait... What?

Remember The Good Old Days

When what passed for entertainment was a girl walking a tightrope over a gully while wearing buckets on her feet? I miss those simpler times.

Just Because It's Looks Cool

That doesn't mean that the organization it represents is anything but evil. Thanks to Leviathud for finding this one for me. Be on the lookout and don't accept candy or give matches to anyone who wear this symbol. Another of the ways they GETCHA - through jewelry.

mmmmm BANGS!

Lucha Es Mui Bueno

Did I spell that right? I hope one of my Mexican followers will correct me if I didn't. My blog is now officially bringing you the cool in THREE languages. Let's see those other blogs attempt something as cutting edge as that.

Most Creepy Invention Ever

I was reading 'Time' magazine's list of the top 50 worst inventions. None, however, freaked me out more than this rejuvenation 'mask'. It is meant to tone and tighten loose facial muscles but all I can imagine is the thing going haywire and fixing itself permanently to someone resulting in madness and murderous behavior. The expressionless feature of the mask is the most terrifying because we all have been conditioned to see any face masked person as a serial killer. Thank YOU, 'Friday the 13th'.,28804,1991915_1991909,00.html

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Tarvuism? Oobu The Octopus?

You ever heard of this? It is supposedly the world's fastest growing religion but is in reality a joke created by two comedy writers to make fun of the more ridiculous elements of Christianity and Scientology. What got my attention is its connection to the octopus who is holy in this 'church'. In fact the octopus saved the guy who the religion is founded on. Check this out:

"Oobu (or Ubu, or Ubb-Ubb) was the octopus who befriended and rescued Tarvu when he landed in the ocean from the Heavens.

Oobu and his wife Ootati, their children Oppo and Ippi along with Oobu's father Oopapa, kept Tarvu alive by feeding him ink and shrimps. They lived together in the seas for nine years, and Tarvu became a very good swimmer. Oopapa sadly died along the way, being eaten by a giant wooly sea-tortoise, called Karkippenah. This species (known as 'Tortimikeppi') is now extinct. Tarvuists believe that this was Tarvu's revenge for the death of his adopted aquamarine grandfather. However, some zoologists have reported sightings of tortimikeppi in lakes in Hungary, Romania and Sri Lanka, although they have never been photographed.

Tarvu never forgot his adopted octopus family, and forbad the eating of calamari."

This is all very silly but I can see it catching on amongst certain segments of the population that need to belong to something, anything regardless of how stupid it sounds. I of course call it bullshit because of the octopus connection. Just the kind of stupidity that my cephalopod enemy would put out there to trick gullible humans. This is exactly how they would try and GETCHA in the media savvy Internet age.

For a made-up religion they seem to have put some effort into their balloon juice theology - just enough to seem legit. They just have nothing that appeals to me. That whole 'holy octopus' thing is an instant deal breaker, baby.

Here is the list of what the believe:

•Tarvu is our Lord God
•There are two universes
•The Tarvunty is the Holy Book
•We should all "be nice"
•Men and women are equal (to each other)
•Tarvu's Prayer should be said every day
•Octopuses are holy creatures
•Everyone has an invisible guardian from Universe A.

Say Hebbo! from Torvakian on Vimeo.

It Is Just So Stupid

I think I have found the stupidest record ever allowed in the Guinness Book of Records. I have made it know in no uncertain terms that I think most records attempted by people are frivolous and harmful not only to themselves but the civilization we are all trying to establish out here. I hate the big food records the most but today I saw this picture and we have a new contender for most idiotic use of one's time to get into the record book.

First of all you are not really 'WEARING' the party hat in the manner it was intended to be worn - ON YOUR HEAD! Secondly, you have practically achieved the easiest record ever. Some kid in India could beat that number tomorrow and then his buddy can break that record by adding just one more hat.

It's not even a TIMED event. You just could stand there and have a helper add the hats until you were the new record holder. What was the previous record? Why is this even considered?

Aren't you embarrassed to tell people that it's you in the book? As records go, your's is pretty lame.

This is not EFFORT. This is not like birthing a dozen babies at one time or climbing a mountain faster than anyone else. The only difficulty you would encounter with the party hat record would be the breaking of the elastic that keeps them on your body.

This leads me to another question - after you got the record, did you have any party hats left in the bag to beat that record? Was the size of the hats ever in concideration? The smaller the hat, the more you could put on your body.

Looks to me like you have some room left on your body to add a few extra hats. Was achieving your record number that taxing on your system that even ONE MORE HAT would have led to your death?

There Must Always Be A Cave Of Cool -17

Girl Is Looking Fierce

"Top Kill' Failed. Color Me Surprised.

The time for BP's attempts to stop this oil spill on their own have come and gone. I don't know how much consultation they have done with other oil companies or experts around the world but now is the time for the best minds on this PLANET to think up a solution. BP needs to stop looking at their bottom line and needs to stop telling us lies. What are they stalling for? Each minute the spill and damage to the ocean gets worse.

I saw on TV how BP hired a bunch of workers to walk the beaches looking for 'tar balls' while the President was visiting. The second Obama left, however, these workers were no longer needed because the whole thing was just window dressing to show everyone that BP cared and was serious about beach clean-up. They don't care because even now it isn't serious enough to threaten BP's profits.

So why, at this point, are we allowing BP to do anything? They have clearly been dishonest with all of us. All these years they have used their power to avoid regulations and to fake safety reports. They have no idea how to fix the problem they created. Before one inch of pipe went into the ocean, they should have had a plan on hand to fix anything that possibly went wrong. A solution to the problem of a 'leaky' pipe should have been on the top of that list. When a situation is left to become a global crisis, BP loses the right to call any of the shots.

Their company needs to be shut down and their assets need to be seized. Those assets need to go into the hiring of smart people and paying for equipment that may be needed to shut this well off for good. No more 'top hats' no more 'top kills' and certainly no 'junk shots' which is supposedly the next idea these geniuses have. If heavy mud didn't work, what makes them think that golf balls and rubber tires will work any better?

It will already be decades if not longer for the ocean to recover from this spill. How much more damage will we need to do before all of us realize that oil dependency and greed is counterproductive to the life of this world?

The only thing that gives me any kind of hope is that this incident may push the development of green technologies further along than they are now. Electrical power, wind and solar energy projects need to be greenlit so that the need to do this risking drilling offshore won't exist anymore.

Bloggy? Now That Is Some Funny Shit

Cave Of Cool Contest Winner

After an exhaustive proceedure I have awarded EDMONTON JB as the winner of my first ever give-a-way contest. Thank you to everyone who entered.

My Kind Of Woman

Reddish brown hair? (check) Hourglass figure? (check) Bangs? (check) Braless? (check) No pants (Thanks Drake - check) Hoping she calls me soon? (double check)

No Matter How Tough You Are...

Somedays you just need your boo bear.

Three More Alternative Iron Man Images


A Happy Bunday To You All

This is the reason we all wish we were bunnies.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

OMG I Love These

The Dyson Air Multiplier

Room fans are one of my favorite things. I cannot sleep without the cool breeze of one on me or the sound of the white noise that they create. James Dyson, that crazy vacuum inventor has come up with a fan that works without blades. It has to be one of the greatest inventions man ever came up with. I am sure he travelled to the future to get it - he probably sold his soul to SKYNET just to provide us with the best in air cooling tech before all our machines become sentient and kill all the people on Earth. You doubt is works? Check out this video and doubt no more. It's almost as good as having a rocket pack.

The War Is Making You Poor Act

From the shattered economy to the oil spill in the Gulf, America is up against some of its worse times in the history of that nation. Until the stranglehold that the corporations and the military/industrial complex has on that nation can be broken there are no forseeable good times on the horizon.

I am a student and concider myself an expert on American politics and government. So I hurt just as much as my US brothers and sisters do when I see how poorly they are treated.

Cogressman Alan Grayson(D) of Florida, is one of the good ones that I wish more people would listen too. I have been following his career intensly because the man has more great ideas in one week that I have seen come from any other person in government in all this past year. He is a lone voice in the wilderness and powerful special interests will always keep him down but that doesn't mean that he is going to let himself become part of the problem.

This is his latest bill. Check it out and tell me this isn't a great idea. Even the most strident tea-bagger or far right conservative can't find fault with his plan if they are honest with themselves.

The war in Iraq and Afghanistan is just sucking up blood and treasure and the spill in the Gulf is becoming a disaster of biblical proportions. Those who care NOTHING about the average American citizens seem to have all the power to cheat and steal until their pockets are overflowing. How much profit is ENOUGH?

"by Rep. Alan Grayson

On May 30, 2010, at 10:06 a.m, the direct cost of occupying Iraq and Afghanistan will hit $1 trillion. And in a few weeks, the House of Representatives will be asked to vote for $33 billion of additional “emergency” supplemental spending to continue the occupations of Iraq and Afghanistan.

There will be the pretense of debate — speeches on the floor of both chambers, stern requests for timetables or metrics or benchmarks — but this war money will get tossed in the wood chipper without difficulty, requested by a president who ran on an anti-war platform. Passing this legislation will mark the breaking of another promise to America, the promise that all war spending would be done through the regular budget process.

Not through an off-budget swipe of our Chinese credit card.

The war money could be used for schools, bridges, or paying everyone’s mortgage payments for a whole year. It could be used to end federal income taxes on every American’s first $35,000 of income, as my bill, the War Is Making You Poor Act, does. It could be used to close the yawning deficit, supply health care to the unemployed, or for any other human and humane purpose.

Instead, it will be used for war. Because, as Orwell predicted in 1984, we’ve reached the point where everyone thinks that we’ve always been at war with Eastasia. Why?"

I like him better with his goatie. That is the facial hair that goes with a crusader.

I Like These 'Pop Bot' Kitties

This Is Why You Never Fall Asleep On The Beach

You might wake up to something unpleasant.


Prince Of Persia (2010)

Jake Gyllenhaal gets a lifetime free pass from me for being in 'Donnie Darko'. So I will try to be nice to him while I watch 'The Prince of Persia' based on a video game I have never played. It does have 'parkour' in it which I enjoy watching but only for the less than complete jumps the people attempting it suffer.

"Adopted from the streets of Nasaf by King Sharaman of Persia, young Dastan grows up amongst royalty and quickly earns his place as a mighty warrior and prince. As his brothers Garsiv and Tus plan battle strategies, a spy sends word that the Holy City of Alamut has been supplying weapons to enemies of Persia. Taking matters into his own hands, Tus orders an attack on the sacred city and upon its fall Dastan encounters the beautiful Princess Tamina. When King Sharaman dies under mysterious circumstances shortly after, and Dastan is accused of his murder, he flees with the princess on a harrowing mission to clear his name. Learning from Tamina the true motives behind Alamut's invasion, Dastan must embark on a perilous quest to stop an evil mastermind's plot for ultimate power with a mystical weapon that can control the very fabric of time."

Jerry Bruckheimer, the same guy who produced 'Pirates of the Carribean' is in charge here and he has the full weight and skill of the 'Disney Studios' behind him and it shows. The production is lavish in both setting and costumes.

Gyllanhaal, with his faux British accent, is quite good as the roguish prince Dastan (who they call the 'Lion of Persia') and is more than able to bring the action and the funny to his role. Ben Kingsley is his reliable slimy self as Dastan's evil Uncle. Gemma Arterton is ravishing in her beauty and totally believable as a princess who would provoke men to reckless behavior.

In many ways this is an old fashioned adventure tale with great action scenes and special effects. The dagger of time that forms the basis for Dastan to be hunted and the key to his redemption is a neat piece of magical weaponry.

The film is a bit long but I was entertained the whole time. It didn't need the 3D additions - in fact most movies these days don't.

Mike Alred Can Draw My Batman Comics Anytime

Women We Love In The Cave Of Cool - Neve Campbell

May 29th - 8:25 Central Mountain Time

Ah, tis a glorious northern paradise I live in.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Just Funny

The Holy Grail

Of all the toys I want to add to my vast collection it's this ROM figure from the late 1970s. It is one of the rare occasions when a comic character followed the development of a toy and not the other way around. It was also a fairly advanced electronic toy for it's time. I came close to buying one in a discount store but changed my mind and bought a 'Millennium Falcon' instead.

As you would suspect, I see that same Falcon everywhere I shop and have yet to find another ROM, mint in box. I also have a soft spot in my heart for the ROM - SPACEKNIGHT comic. It was the title that I had my first letter to Marvel published in and from that I started a correspondence with a pen pal who lived in an American V.A. Hospital. That friendship was one of the most important ones in my life. So seeing these pictures earlier in the week has fueled my desire to finally track down this illusive figure.

Five For Caturday