Sunday, October 31, 2010

It's True

Gort loves the bitches and the bitches love Gort.

Greatest Halloween Quote Ever

“Do you think we should drive a stake through his heart, just in case?”

— Peter Lorre to Vincent Price, at Bela Lugosi’s funeral.

That is so cool. Can't you just imagine Lorre saying that - in that great voice of his? You just know he was half-kidding but half serious at the same time. Beautiful. Thanks for Brother Darius for posting this gem on Tumblr.

Make Up Your Mind

Is you cat or is you cowboy? You can't be both because that offends my sensibilities.

Just Funny - Halloween Edition

Meow Mix

Rihanna and Shy Ronnie

Often the best part of any SNL episode is the Digital Shorts by Andy Sanburg. He has built up an impressive body of comedy with some of the biggest stars out there. This one is no exception.

Oh and another thing SNL, does Kristen FUCKIN' Whig have to play the female role in EVERY sketch you do? There are cute, talented girls just sitting in the back that can do a great job. I am sure of that. Whig has been working my last nerve for awhile now so do us all a favor and quit or die. Your choice lady.

A Sam Gilmore Original!

How cool is THIS?! The very talented SAM GILMORE from Chiaroscuro, who I am happy to call friend, created this painting for me from the best picture that was ever taken of me.

Like the painting, it was in glorious black and white. It shows me in all my glory in my cadet camp uniform while listening to 'The Human League' on my 'Walkman'. (Holy crap that is a time machine back to the past - 1982). Way to capture a cool moment in time, buddy. I know exactly where I would want to go if I ever get my time machine to work properly.

I am honored to be immortalized in such a fashion. And really, people, isn't that the way it SHOULD be for me and my Cave of Cool? Check out the comparison to see just how talented Sam is.

Happy Halloween People

May you have lots of candy to be sick on and a full diaper from all the frights you have recieved.

The More Things Change...

I was fascinated by these cartoons by Winsor McCay, creator of the newspaper comic strip "Little Nemo in Slumberland". He was a superb draftsman and artist who also turned his talents towards political cartoons that addressed the social issues of his day (the 1920s and 30s). The following one is almost 80 years old but still hits the nail on the head in it's critique of the 'cult of celebrity' that seems to dominate our civilization today as much as it did in McCay's time.

The editorial which accompanied the cartoon above, Trying to get there is so prescient about our age of instant celebrity that it could have been written today. It is quite remarkable to think that it was written over eighty years ago.

"This is the age of notoriety and struggle. The scientist and artist that once worked in cloistered seclusion now work largely on the front page of newspapers. The world's struggle is to 'attract the public eye' that Mr McCay shows in this cartoon. It is a ceaseless struggle and many are the strange roads by which men travel to reach their goal, real FAME or mere NOTORIETY. For the goal worth while there is only one road, the same old road painfully travelled for thousands of years. It is not popular, it is not crowded. Its name is HARD WORK."

I would like to have a large version of this one to hang in the front of my classroom. It would remind the kids that hard work today will allow you to be an evil industrialist in the future. We need them too because a hero is only as good as the villains he surrounds himself with.

To see more of his editorial cartoons with comment, clink the link below.

The Final Daily Pumpkin - The Biggest One Of All

"That Boy Never Does Anything Half Way"

I remember overhearing my uncle say that to my Father when I was around 12. It still is true today.

Anything that means something to me gets an abundance of my time and attention - Teaching, blogging, tumbling, collecting, conversation, learning, world travelling, octopus fighting, time travelling, space travelling, alien battling, gangstering, revenging on my enemies, eating, fencing and collage making.

Only relationships are something I seem to consistently fail at.

But I did post my 9000th image on Tumblr tonight. And that is only since June. I am a machine but not, sadly, a sex machine.

Daily Reminder - These Things Are Not Stupid

<a href="" target="_new" title="Super Stealth Octopus">Video: Super Stealth Octopus</a>

Check out this video. There is nothing else on this planet that can perform all the survival tricks that the octopus can. They have a hundred ways to fool you, hide from you and kill you. They are one of the most intelligent species in the seas - and with all their talents, all they want to see is the world burn.

Each time I see footage like this I am more certain that they mean us harm. They envy our status at the top of the food chain and they want their shot at running the whole show.

They live in the deepest waters where only the alien spaceships hide. I am sure they have already made 'first contact' and had nothing good to tell the outworlders about us.

I particularly hate to hear the awe and fascination in the voice of the collaborators narrating this piece of film. Just swim away and save yourself. It might be the only chance you get, frogman.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

It's THAT Time Of Year

Around the time when the weather gets colder, I get this craving for soup and sammiches. You would think I was pregnant. Tomorrow I am going to stock up on all the parts I need to deal with this hunger. Exotic flavors of soup like Asperagus and Brocoli with flavored croutons added for that extra zing.

See What I Did There?

"When the mothers with their big hair and sensible shoes bring me their babies and ask me to change the poopy diapers, I will just look at them and say, NO."

The Walking Dead

I need to let it be known that I am a huge fan of the comic that this mini-series is based on. It's one that I save up until I have about ten issues and then I read them in one shot. There is no other way to do it with this story. The cliffhangers are so great that I would go crazy if I had to wait a month to see what was going to be the outcome of the latest bad thing to happen to the group of survivors I have come to like so much.

The genius of Kirkman (the writer of the comic) is that he makes you care about people who may not be the best or nicest people in the world. They are very human and often more notice is placed on the challenges they have staying 'human' in light of their situation.

The biggest thing to fear as they move around the country looking for supplies and a safe place to lay their heads every night are not always the zombies. It's often other survivors who the plague has not yet touched.

Those feelings of fear mixed with quiet moments of joy are what I want from the live action program. The fact that it's on AMC, a cable channel that has done such good work on 'Mad Men' and 'Breaking Bad' gives me enormous confidence that I will get into this show.

If you haven't read the comics, I hope the TV show puts you in search of them. They really are some of the best stories the medium has ever told.

The first thing that I noticed about the first episode of the TV series was the QUIET. The quiet that came with the end of civilization. No cars, no radios, almost no birds or insects - just silence. As a survivor I would most miss the background soundtrack of life but would only hear my own voice or the shuffle of death coming towards me.

The story begins in classic zombie tradition with a wounded cop who awakes from his hospital stay to a world that is vastly different from the one he knew. We follow him and discover what has happened to civilization while he had been out of it. The wilted flowers at his bedside should have been his first hint to the decay he would eventually be facing.

The little things would be missed the most - hot food, hot showers, clean cloths, entertainment. Everything would be replaced by thoughts of survival and of regret - plus overwhelming despair and feelings of hopelessness. All you could offer the zombies is a merciful death. They could be you tomorrow. They are you tomorrow.

How unbelievably disheartening would it be to come across abandoned tanks and machine gun nests in the cities? If the army couldn't stop these things, or even save themselves, what hope does one man have?

This is going to be a wicked character driven series if the first episode is any indication of what to expect. If I can get through the overwhelming sadness, I think I will be rewarded with some great acting and writing.

I know after my viewing of the premier that I wished I had ten more episodes to watch in a row. I don't think in this case that I can wait that long to collect them. I have to see what happens next week. I think you will feel the same.

The Beginning Of My Christmas Wishlist

This 1/6 scale Green Lantern figure is gorgeous. I liked the Alan Scott character and those Golden Age stories from my childhood. This one would be taken out of the box to enjoy life in my glass display case.

I Love These Pictures

These are two more of those weird but freaky daycare center pictures that were taken before the coming of color photography. I am sure the ghost faces were a good idea when the caretaker first thought of the project but in hindsight...

Evel Knievel For The Win, Alex

"My son wears a helmet to correct Plagiocephaly. We made him this Halloween costume that included his helmet as a part of it." - quoted from the best parents this Halloween.

I Like This

Lando Sets Han Straight

"Now what we have here are your white bitches, your black bitches, your green bitches and your orange bitches. Just avoid the orange bitches. They are the ones from the Jersey shore. Trust me, you don't want to wake up next to one of them in the morning."

Cute Mugshot Of The Week

"I was drunk off the awesome that is the 'Cave of Cool'. I should not have drove until I had slept it off."

This Book Better Not Kill My Love For The Man

Thanks to Booksteve for linking me to this book. I am putting this on my book search for next week. The Friendly Giant is a Canadian icon and for once I am pretty sure that he will not be 'outing' anyone or discussing the sex and drugs he did with groupies who showed up to watch tapings of his show.

Dictionary Definition Of The Day

More Wacky Times In The Wermarch

Nazis celebrated Halloween? There is one costume they didn't pass down to their kids. Yikes! Good luck getting candy from my place.

I am also so proud that my comment on the above picture that accompanied it's reblog on my tumblr was attacked by my first anonymous troll. Our conversation went as follows.

Anonymous asked: You're a moron. Grow some brains. It's not a fucking nazi symbol.

That’s right. They didn’t put it on their flags or uniforms at all. Regardless of it’s true origin, the Nazis co-opted it into a symbol for evil. So maybe you are the moron who knows nothing about the 1930s and 40s. And you are also a coward for hiding being your Anonymous identity. So fuck you.

Do You Remember

A time when every pumpkin you saw carved at Halloween looked like these ones? No pumpkins was turned into awesome shadow effect vegetables or works of art. They just had triangle eyes and jagged smiles. I am starting to view the ones created these days with the same contempt that I have for Lego.

I can't make one that looks as good as the best designed pumpkins I see. Sometimes it makes me afraid to look back because what if I DID come from a much simpler time only the 'simple' part meant that we were not that bright or creative.

No, I take that back. We could at least spell back then and type with more fingers than just our thumbs.

Caturday Throughout The Day

Daily Pumpkin - Day 27/28/29/30

Someone Explain This Ad To Me

What is everyone looking at? The people in the back aren't looking at the girl in the foreground which would make sense if they just left the mostly drunk bottle of Fanta at her study desk. Why does she have such a horrified look on her face? What the FUCK is going on here. Someone please tell me. It's making me crazy.

Now THIS Is Funny AND Frightening

Superhero Saturday

This print is gorgeous.

Friday, October 29, 2010

I Have Found My Biographer

When I read this I just knew I had to share it with all of you. It's like this girl. Elfenkate is the official biographer of the Cave of Cool. This short story is MY short story. I think that once you read it you will understand.

I always seek out the blogs of unfamiliar people who leave a comment on one of my posts and so should all of you. You never know what you might find on their site. Today I found the following piece of awesome.

One Down

He should have been sweating with all the heavy gear on. The temps were in the high 90's. But he wasn't.

He remained cool.

Even the metal in his hands was cool.

He edged closer to the open doorway.

Slowly working his way to the back of the house leading to the patio.

The floor was covered in water, leaves and other debris from being open to the elements. Many of the houses they checked were like this.
Abandoned. Opened. Falling apart in some places.

This was no different. Though it was one of the nicer houses he had been in.

The structure was old, Victorian, but the inside looked as if it had been remodeled. Probably just before they arrived.

The granite counter still shined a high black speckled gloss in some spots not soiled by fire and garbage.

The cabinets had a flower and vine detail carved into them. It must have looked quite nice when it was done.

And there just off the kitchen was the patio.

One foot at a time, one inch at a time, through the double glass doors.

He spun around to his left.

There it was.

A squid like creature locked eyes with him. The liquid filled bubble hovering a few feet off the burned out grass. Tentacles smoothly swaying this way. Then that way.

A high pitched mechanical voice in his head, "You can't win. Put your weapon aside." it was demanding.

But we had figured out how to block the telepathic commands.

A small chip blocking out their specific frequencies.

He steadied his arm. His hand tightened and he squeezed the trigger.

"You should have come in peace asshole."

The Cars - Drive

Another great song from the 80s.

Monster Chiller Horror Theatre

Oh Count Floyd, the whole world is out to mess up your job. Old school SCTV comedy is the best.

"Blueberry pancakes scare me. I don't know about you but everyone has their favorite scary ones...BUCKWHEAT...particularly can be frightning."

Life Lessons From The Movies And TV

I found this list on Tumblr and liked the truths it exposed. Some of these come from Japanese mech/manga so I don't get all the references. I assume they would make sense to someone who likes that genre.

Please add any of your own in the comment sections so that I can start compiling another such list.

Ladies and Gentlemen

War sucks.

You CAN have too many women.

Smart people wear glasses.

Music foreshadows plot.

The less you care about sex, the more opportunities you’ll get.

(Inversely, the harder you try, the less you’ll get.)

When you die, make a long speech, and don’t finish the last sentence.

Snow means love.

The best teams come in fives.

In space, you can hear everything.

There’s always room for flashbacks!

When in China, listen to your tour guide.

The good guy always has the BLUE glow.

Speak quietly, pilot a big mech.

Believe in goddesses.

Teachers have excellent aim with small objects.

Vengeance with a mallet is the sweetest revenge of all.

Honor is sexy; villainy is irresistible.

Women are attracted to losers; men are attracted to ANYTHING.

The coolest weapon is still the sword.

The hero is never really mad until they hurt his girlfriend.

Female androids are sexy; male androids are….male androids.

The green-haired alien girl will always betray her people for the man she loves.

School uniforms are cool only when the collar is open.

A show without sexual tension isn’t worth watching.

Love knows no race, species, or logic.

If it’s homemade but tastes bad, grin and bury it (discreetly).

Never trust a huge corporation.

Romance never comes simpler than in a triangle.

Never fall in love with a psychic.

You can never have too much hair.

Sweating is a sure sign of stress.

Daydreaming leads to accidents.

Everyone wants to conquer Japan.

The cute, fuzzy creature isn’t what it seems.

Cherry blossoms mean nostalgia.

Always take gravity into account.

Settings and faces are self-generating.

Losing your temper can be therapeutic.

You can never have too many subplots.

If she sings, she’s doomed.

You always remember the sad endings.

Double suicide is romantic.

Outrageous vehicles only make the hero cooler.

Nothing delays romance like unruly neighbors.

Fancy ice cream is for girls only.

The most virtuous character will die.

Hot water has innumerable benefits.

No matter how much blood is lost, no one can die by a nosebleed.

(The same theory above applies to vomiting.)

The girl with the curly hair is always the seductress.

If a sister falls in love with her brother, somewhere down the line you will discover that they’re not blood related.

All demons/monsters have enormous genitalia.

All young children can pilot mecha, you just need to give them a few days.

It is possible to incorporate martial arts into any aspect of life.

All high school kids in Japan have parents that are away on extended business trips.

The oldest sister is the nice one, the youngest sister is the brash one.

You can do anything to the human body as long as you hit the right pressure point.

Consuming enormous amounts of alcohol daily will never have ill effects.

All major villains either want to take over the world or blow it up.

When someone paints up their face, they mean business.

No matter how many times you rebuild, Tokyo keeps getting destroyed in a massive fireball.

The martial arts expert is always defenseless against a slap from the girl who loves him.

TAKAHASHI’S LAW 1: Food is a powerful motivator.

When women are sent out to fight the bad guys, there’s always a hunk busily watching over them, often in secret.

The longer it takes to say what your punch is called, the less effective it is.

The more possessive a woman gets, the less likely she will end up with the man of her dreams.

No matter how big the mech/labor/mobile suit is, if it runs around the corner, the guy chasing it loses the trail.

The fate of the planet rests in the hands of the seemingly normal high school student.

The heroine must shred her clothes while transforming into something to fight the bad guys.

True evil can never be destroyed, only banished to some nether realm where it awakes after a few hundred years.

Even the bravest souls can be made weak and helpless by the sight of a cute little puppy or kitten.

All persons under the age of 50 can do a ten foot vertical jump from a standing position.

Never trust a guy with shiny teeth

ESP causes more trouble than it solves

The vampire isn’t always the bad guy

Nice things can come out of video stores that appear from nowhere

Idiot captains win battles against impossible odds

Just about any outer space villain has his sights set on destroying the Earth.

No other planet in the universe will be able to stop said villain except the Earth.

Any character can make a leap of 300 ft or more if given a good running start.

A samurai sword can cut through anything.

When uncovering a fabulous treasure, the thing will be large enough to completely destroy any surrounding structures.

Anime villains have the best deaths.

The hero always loses the first fight with a new enemy.

The guys with two earrings are from the Negaverse.

Don’t trust the guys with two earrings.

Any truly evil person who changes sides for the woman he loves will die in that episode.

You CAN do it, but only when it’s funny or REALLY important.

You can never have too many carrots.

Hair comes in every shade of the rainbow - and we do mean pink, purple, blue, green….

The song “Cry Me a River” takes on a whole new meaning.

My List

If the hero needs time to put on a power ring or suit of armor, the bad guys will wait patiently for him/her to do that.

Dead is never really dead (Unless you are Uncle Ben).

If they show the dead serial killer lying dead behind the back of the girl he was threatening, then that killer will sit up. This resurrection is not noticed by the girl until the killer comes up close behind her.

A character's cell phone will always ring when they are hiding from a killer thus exposing where they are hiding.

A hostage that the killer is threatening to kill if the hero takes one more step forward or doesn't throw down his gun will be shot by the hero with no damage done to the hostage.

A speeding car being chased by authorities will always destroy a conveniently placed fruit stand. Outside of a farmer's market, when has anyone of us EVER seen a old timey fruit cart on the street? Somehow, at least one car in the pursuit will hone in on one with deadly accuracy.

Slutty girls always die first.

The black guy never dies.

Movie heroes can take an enormous amount of punishment but somehow have energy to perform amazing feats of strength.

Heroes can throw dozens of punches to the face of their opponent without any actual visual damage being done to themselves except for that trickle of blood at the corner of the mouth.

On TV, the person who ends up being the one responsible for a crime is easy to spot. They are an actor you have seen before in something else. The killer is never a nobody.

Hardest Working Girl In Showbiz

"Kraken Of The Sea"

Much thanks to Brother Mike for sending this page my way. It kinda sums up everything I hate and fear about the evil that is the cephalopod.

Why do we fear the giant squid? Brian Lam of ocean blog The Scuttlefish gets to the dark heart of kraken horror.

In 1965, a Soviet Whaler watched an adult squid and sperm whale battle one another, but neither was victorious. The whale was found strangled, and the severed head of the squid was found in the whale's stomach.If this is true, it is remarkable, for very few prey can injure their hunters to the point of death.

As the second largest mollusk, and the second largest invertebrate on the planet, the Giant Squid (Genus Architeuthis) comes with the largest reputation ahead of even that of the later discovered and larger colossal squid.

Like all squid, the giant variety have eight arms, two longer tentacles, and a mantle. The arms and tentacles are what give the giant squid its length, and what lead to exaggerations of its actual size. The insides of the arms and tentacles, are lined with hundreds of suction cups, all perforated with finely serrated teeth. Like most smaller squid, it propels itself by means of ejecting water from a chamber in a rhythmic fashion, causing jet-like propulsion. Given its size, it has few enemies, but one that is worthy.

Sperm whales are often found with scars telling of entanglements with Giant Squid. They are known to eat the cephalopods with regularity.

But undigested beaks of Giant Squid found within the stomachs of whales have predominantly been juvenile. Not surprisingly, these epic creatures are of such size that they are each other's only natural enemies, other than man, who hunts them for research, not food. (The giant squid manage buoyancy by use of ammonium, a solution lighter than water. This chemical, related to ammonia, gives them a bitter flavor when eaten, said Bruce Robison, a Monterey-based scientist who chomped on a tentacle once after his quarry fled his line, leaving him only with a tentacle.)

We know it through stories like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and in others where it is known as a Kraken–a terrifying, elusive monster that attacked ships, battled whales, caused cap-sizing whirlpools, and all without fully emerging from the depths of the dark ocean. The Kraken dwelled in the waters off Norway, even though the word is German in origin, meaning, "Octopus". Naturally.

A sonnet by Alfred Tennyson appeared in Poems, Chiefly Lyrical, in 1830, page 154.

Below the thunders of the upper deep;
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides: above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages and will lie
Battening upon huge sea-worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

I prefer BadAssOfTheWeek‘s description:

What's worse than having your ass chomped in half by two rows of serrated, dagger-sized shark teeth, you might ask? How about getting a singing molest-o-gram from a half-dozen gigantor rubbery tentacles that bludgeon your brain apart while simultaneously tearing your ship into jetsam, leaving you either dead, retarded, or stranded in the middle of the ocean with no hope of salvation? While that's pretty much one of the worst things ever, to the Kraken it's just the way he enjoys spending his lazy Sunday afternoons.

The Kraken, as it appeared in Verne's 20,000, was supposedly the basis for H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu, an octopus-headed god. And in Clash of the Titans, the Kraken was represented by a giant humanoid with a fishtail, which Perseus kills with Medusa's severed head, still capable of turning beings to stone. The Kraken also takes down a ship in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest as a hunter of the cursed. But let us not forget the real giant squid.

Indeed part of its reputation is built upon its elusiveness. Giant squid have never been caught and kept alive; The only specimens found to prove its existence were washed ashore, dead, or found mostly-digested inside the bellies of sperm whales. Whole bodies, being difficult to find even dead, are rare enough that in 2005 the Melbourne Aquarium paid $90k for a specimen frozen in ice, captured by New Zealand fishermen.

But with the advent of underwater cameras, robots, and crittercams, we have found photos and videos of live specimens. Here's the first, according to Steve O'Shea, squid exert, found in 2002. O'Shea says they hauled the body to rock pools near the shoreline, but the squid is indeed alive, even if only at 2 meters long.

The 3-meter giant squid in the video isn't very giant, since the creatures can grow up to 13 meters in length. Steve O'Shea, the researcher who is attempting to capture live giant squid, is taking the approach of capturing juveniles to an extreme. He's been searching for them as inch-long specimens, of which there are far greater in the sea since their numbers dwindle before they can reach maturity.

He was the subject of a New Yorker profile, where he unsuccessfully hunts the creatures in front of the reporter. But he does move research forward, discovering little things that could keep the animals alive in captivity, including facts like certain plastics and rectangular tanks are deadly to the creatures, who can only thrive in cylinder shaped enclosures. O'Shea seems mad with the quest, a quest which seems foolish until completed, like many great endeavors with no financial ends. But his strategy seems smart. After all, you have to wonder at how sane it is to try to capture a creature that outweighs you by several times, with several times as many arms, and a beak that in lesser species has been known to bite through kevlar, a material 20 times harder than steel.