I hate TV Doctors. The topics they come up with just annoy me because I know people (mainly women) who see a snippet of something on those shows and expand the whole thing to become an indictment of something I am doing in my life, or have the POTENTIAL to do despite no evidence to the fact.
Yesterday it was HOARDERS - Now because I have a years worth of 'Entertainment Weekly' piled by my computer I suddenly have this disorder. Someone asked me where the cat was yesterday and my mothers sarcastically said he was probably under that pile of magazines. K, that WAS funny but trust me, I would KNOW there was a dead cat to be found under a mess if there was even a mess around me.
Today Dr Oz did a show on people who SLEEP EAT. They get up in the middle of the night, make a snack and don't realize they are doing it. What absolute bullshit. I thought when Tyra Banks had five women on her show with TWO (count em') vaginas each (for a total of 10 vaginas if you are counting along) that I had seen the most stupid medical affliction ever but I was wrong.
So let me understand. Betty Lou is in deep REM and she suddenly gets up and makes a turkey sandwich with onion and lettuce and Miracle Whip and WHILE STILL SLEEPING has enough presence of mind to put the onion back in the zip lock bag. In the morning she has no memory of doing this and only has evidence of a smaller onion and turkey crumbs in her pjs to confirm the event even occurred. Again, I gotta call, bullshit with a side dose of shenanigans.
And of course I had to hear that now that is what I do in the middle of the night. That is until my mother reminded my friend that I wouldn't have put the onion or Miracle Whip back in the fridge. You are giving the people in my life a lot of material for mockery of my person and habits, Dr Oz (which sounds made-up if you ask me).
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12 comments:
Of course they have to make up disorders, 'cause 'Dr. Oz' wouldn't know what to advise for real disorders. (unless he looked them up in the Merck Manual or PDR.)
He's about as real as Dr. Goat. Hey, Dr. Goat is real, isn't he?
Dr Goat had better be real. I've been using that cream he prescribed for my rash.
Dr. Oz's real name is Oscar Diggs. No, wait, that's the Wizard of Oz. He was also a fraud at one point, though, so maybe there's a hint in there.
I remember my wife telling me how Dr. Oz used to appear on Oprah (don't worry; it's not like she LIKES Oprah) and answer questions from housewives about poop. Real classy, doc!
You need to get out more. Srsly, step AWAY from the box. This post scared me...
It's so funny that you mention this. The few episodes I've seen have like scarred me for life. Every time I use my flat iron on my hair, I remember when he suggested viewers use this only once per week tops. Scare tactics really leave an impression on me apparently.
Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
i effing blame OPRAH for all of this shite on tv. i don't watch 'dr' phil and i don't even know what dr oz looks like.
oprah, knock it the HELL OFF
Dr. Oz is originally from Turkey, so i guess he's a real Turke..oh wait that's too easy. :)
Hang on...
Did you say women with TWO vaginas? That I'd like to see.
Did Tyra mention whjere any of them lived?
And they were cute women...so you might actually go up and talk to them not KNOWING...then one night...BOOOM...more pressure. How do you choose. Do you ask for her preference? Is it a fifty fifty split things? TO MUCH PRESSURE!
I wish I would have watched more. Oprah had ONE women so afflicted then Tyra had to beat her by finding five more. I always wondered if the 'V jay jays' went vertical or horizontally. No it's sick. Yes, it's sick.
Maybe next Oprah will give Dr. Doom or Dr. Claw a show. The world needs more supervillainy advice shows!
See Nathan, its ideas like that that justify my reason to do this blog. You sir, have now become CCCC quote of the week.
Hooray! What do I win?
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