Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness

Monday, February 24, 2020

Off To My Caption Page Of Cool

Dr. Phil Working My Last Nerve

Crazy vain Instagram girl on Dr. Phil is so unlikable that you want to send her adrift on an ice flow to be Polar Bear food. So desperate for attention that it's not even good comedy to make fun of her. She is not fun to be cruel to because she is so pathetic that living with herself is more punishment than any cutting remark I could make about her. Her eyes roll back in her head when she doesn't want to hear what someone is saying to her. She also repeatedly does this thing with her shoulders that makes me want to grab her and shake her so hard that she is diagnosed with shaken idiot syndrome.

Oh great. She also is a drinker and a sloppy blackout drunk. That makes her cries for attention even less charming if that is even possible at this point. She has no filter but is highly creative and plays the part so well that I am infuriated that she has wasted her talents playing this brat. A negative entitled brat.

"I want to be famous for being famous because I have absolutely no talent whatsoever."

Bravo Dr Phil. You enraged me today because this show was a TWO-FER.

Don't get me started on the last ten mintutes when you allowed someone to do a skin care infomercial with your airtime. How much of a cut do you get for helping them sell their snake oil?

The box even has his name on it.

A skin care product? Bitch, please? What the hell do you know about line correcting booster serums? You are Dr. Phil. Peddling your line of female beauty products that exploit the vanity that many women have about the natural ravages of time feels wrong to me.

YOU TARGETED YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC and MONETIZED YOUR VIEWERS!

Books I understand. I got no problem with you getting a little cash for your collected volumes of balloon juice. It's advice and usually good advice. But COSMETICS?? You are walking a dark path.

FOR SHAME Dr Phil. When did you lose your integrity?

And stop podcasting. How do you find the time between your TV show and doing chemisty over at Number 7 labs which sounds made up.