Ranch Dressing

Pearl wrote about ranch dressing today and I had to reblog my comment here. I have strong opinions that I need to express. I HATE 'Ranch' dressing. It's the laziest of the condiments. At least relish TRIES to do something and it's basically shredded pickle. Think about that. They mutilated a pickle and it still wants to contribute to my eating enjoyment. What does ranch ever do for me? It makes me put MORE on everything hoping that the next bite will be more exciting than the last bite that, frankly, UNDERWHELMED me.

I can pull back on the hot sauce and the blue cheese but nothing makes ranch dressing better by adding more ranch dressing. It just lays there.

They should have pictures of sleepy farm animals on each bottle. Hidden Valley? Now I know why you are hidden. Everyone who ever tasted your dressing left the valley and told NO ONE about the experience because it was so embarrassing. Who would admit they recommended THAT valley and THAT dressing to anyone?

Thank you Pearl for giving me the strength to strongly say "WTF is THIS" to the next waitress that brings me chicken wings with a sad side of ranch dressing. You have empowered me this day. Let the truth be told.