Monday, November 8, 2010

Once Again We All Prepare For Winter


I got that feeling in my rickety old bones that is telling me the snows are coming. Even the cat refuses to go out on his nightly prowl and that tells me that he is either sick or knows precipitation of some kind is on it's way. Of course nothing from the weatherman or weather channel is of any useful help. Weathermen never have known anything.

All those weather men want to be sportscasters. You can tell by the way they draw plays on the local area map. These goobers should have to keep an average in weather prediction of at least 80% or they get the boot. How hard can that be with all them modern predicting equipment they have at their disposal?

I do enjoy watching the jr assistant who is always sent out in the most inclement of weather to report live from the eye of the storm. Nothing gets funnier than that shit.

Can someone also come along and teach the 6:00 o'clock crew how to banter, to fill the dead time with a witty retort or two. That is how you know that the news crew has been together for a long time - they have that kind of comfort with each other.

On our local TV station they are losing their co-female anchor because her husband took a job as head of the mounties. She would be living only an hour long flight away from her husband so would it kill her to commute?

Sadly, she is selfish so this will not be the case. Someone was aware of her talents so she got snatched up by another station in Vancouver which means that our award winning news unit has to train some goober/gooberite to learn of the way we like our news at 5, 6 and 11.

I hope the replacement is a young, cute girl with amble cleavage(like our weather girl is). The station owes me at least that much.

5 comments:

TS Hendrik said...

You make even talking about the weather interesting. A rare gift.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

The sooner it gets here, the sooner it can go.

M. D. Jackson said...

Well, looking forward to seeing the co-female anchor on one of the Vancouver stations we get here. I don't listen to the weatherman either. In our town we have a crusty old gentlemen who is as old as God and has lived here all his life. If he tells you it's gonna snow in three weeks you can take it to the bank. Of course he's just as likely to call you a bastard and threaten you with one of his canes, but you take the bad with the good.

Laura said...

I am SO not looking forward to snow.
Keep it to yourself Cal, do not send it this way once it comes to you....

I don't even watch news anymore... it depresses me too greatly. :(

((Hugs))
Laura

DrGoat said...

The local weather nitwit here admitted on the air that he has never seen The Simpsons. Not even one episode. Obviously he is not even a human being.