Grimace Was Evil?

How did I not know about this? Lisa Mynx informed me tonight (and backed it up with evidence) that beloved humanitarian, entertainer and ladies man, Grimace, was once an evil milkshake thief with FOUR arms. I KNOW...how this was kept from us by the liberal media is shocking. The Grimace I know is all about the LOVE. You ladies know what I am talking about. He always brought his own birth control and liked to cuddle afterwards. If he said he would call you the next day, you can be sure that he would. And what he did for those typhoon orphans is the single most incredible display of generosity I have ever seen. You can tell me he did bad things and when he drank he could be a bit abusive but I remind you that those other charges were never proven and he didn't spend a single day in court having to defend himself from the scurrilous accusations of one Mr H. Burglar (who will burn in Hell for turning state's evidence and going into witness protection). I can only assume that the story of how he lost two of his arms is both tragic and uplifting. Of course you know he was Bar Mitzvahed late in life and I just gotta say...that the spread that that man put out for his guest was out of this world good. The lemon tarts alone gets him a seat in heaven. That was the kind of 'mensch' he was. Remind me to tell you sometime about the bullet he took that was meant for me. I am tearing up just thinking about the big lug.