OMG

I just shaved my beard with the beard trimmer I got for Christmas. It has all those seductive attachments and at first I thought I would just even it out. Keep the wonderful bushiness. Just like trimming a hedge to look like a swan I told myself. But even at the largest setting I had to give in and just trim everything down to one length. It feels SO weird I am freaking out a bit. I put serious 'being a hobo time' into growing this thing and in one moment - WOOOSH. There goes my endorsement deal as poster boy for 'Hobo Chili' and 'Hobo Chuckwagon Dinner'. (when dad cooked he would tell us - "I am making chuckwagon dinner. I don't know what's in it...but it's hot, it's brown and there is plenty of it.") They were gonna give me a bindle and everything. Damn! I just have to go and make a mess of things. Actually I made less of a mess of things but that isn't the point. Tomorrow I am gonna have to do the complete shave and groom with the foam and everything so that I can move about normal society without taunts and whispers following me everywhere I go. "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!"


Ah Hell, Dick Van Patten. What happened to you buddy? Were times really that tough at the end that you had to be the face of dog food? That is the saddest things I have ever seen. Suddenly I don't feel so bad about myself.