Sleep Monkeyboy Sleep

NOT sleeping is almost my superpower. From a very little kid I would be found in the morning not in my crib but on the bathroom mat.

As I go older and had my own room I would rearrange my pillows in a corner and create a little tent to listen to my old time transistor radio (with ONE ear piece).

In the summer I would climb out my window and sleep in the tree fort. Not finding me in my bed in the morning stopped being a concern for my parents. They figured I would wake-up eventually and find my way home. She would joke that if I was ever kidnapped overnight no one would know until first class Monday morning. Personally I figured she was working on her alibi when she sold me to the Gypsies.

As a teen I would stay up all night watching old movies and TV shows on our first color TV. Then as a paperboy I won my own ultra hip 13 inch black and white TV which to me was the greatest thing ever. Now I could have a TV in my room. I swear I could splice co-ax cable during enemy fire if I needed channels during wartime.

I managed to sleep at Cadet Camp because of the way they exhausted us.

I perfected the old 40 minute cat nap in University. As long and you didn't go into R.E.M. sleep you were okay and it was actually invigorating. Though one night I feel asleep on the couches in one of the smaller libraries and they either didn't do a security check before closing or didn't care.

Unfortunately, once I started teaching, my system returned to it's youthful operation and since then I have rarely been able to sleep through the night. Short intervals have become the norm. It's a good thing that I wake to find many project needed to be done all the time. Things like this blog keep me sane.

I once feel asleep during a staff meeting. In my defence the Principal was from India and had one of those hypnotic snake-charmer voices. Not fair.

I need very specific conditions to exist in order to sleep. I have previously talked about the myriad of pillow types, the blanket dance and the continual fan which sends cooling air to my face and that gentle hum to my ears.

When I saw this image today I knew I had found what I REALLY need. This train car bedroom that is pulled all night along the tracks of the big city or maybe the lonely stretches of rail in the countryside of Western Canada. The clank clank clank would be perfect and they could have me home in the morning only to pick me up later that night.

When I become a wealthier man I am gonna make this happen. People will find it a charming quirk. Right?