Sighs

Great. Thanks to facebook, the group I want to join for a night to learn how to paint a nice tiger in the jungle just got 15 messages from me because of stupid facebook. Not bad. Just expressing my interest for their cool art program. Doesn't make me look insane AT ALL. One night, forty dollars, all the equipment you need. Good instruction. End result. I have a picture of a tiger in the woods. Now I am waiting for them to do a picture I think is cool because I will have it hang in my house when I am done.

 

These people made a nice tiger.

 

I want to do this with my Mom on her 75th Birthday. I think she would like that.

 

http://www.artypartyreddeer.com/

But now thanks to my messages which went without my pushing anything - will put me on some sort of freakish watch list. I already have difficulty sharing my life with humans and this doesn't help.

 I was thinking of joining some group that go to cool movies with others so they don't have to go by themselves. I like going by myself but I am up for something new. The movies have to be overblown 3D Hollywood blockbusters or I am out. That is at deal breaker for me. After all. I have my standards.

But then I see myself in the mirror and realize that no one is going to any event with me. If I was in a group home they would plan all kinds of fun outings like this for me and my fellow clients. Then they would had to be around my freakish ELEPHAT MAN like visage.

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

Now the scariest thing is that I have been invited to a surprise party from the husband of the girl I talk with from High School. We had a neat relationship and she has asked me before to join in on some fun they are having. I fear this kind of situation because I don't need everyone to see what a loser I am. I don't think I can hide it, regardless of the award winning actor that I am. I got dumped after University by all my best friends who I thought were closer than family and that broke my heart. I just don't want hurt another person I like and let her down. But I do have to get out in the world where there must be punch and pie. I love punch and pie.