I Have Finally Figured Out The Olsen Twins

They are MUPPETS. Actually that is not fair to Muppets. Muppets have souls. Holy crap what cold lifeless eyes these two have. It's freaking me out and not in the good way.

Maud'Dib

50 Favorite Fictional Characters

These interesting posters depict favorite fictional characters. Here are some of mine from the tumble. No particular order given. You can find some by going to this tumblr but you have to go to the archive and search for them. I wish they were all in one place.

Man In Blizzard

I know I am just rubbing it in at this point but if you can take another look at the 'horrow from above' you might enjoy this short. If not I will enjoy it for you. I hate to admit this New York but you DID get a resonably large amount of snow dropped on you in a short period of time. You have earned an additional ten mintutes to lose your shit over this end of civilization event.

"Man in a Blizzard, also possibly at one time called Idiot with a Tripod, is Jamie Stuart’s observations during the blizzard that hit New York City. It was filmed on Saturday, edited in almost no time, uploaded to YouTube Sunday, and earned a great review from Roger Ebert.

This film deserves to win the Academy Award for best live-action short subject.
(1) Because of its wonderful quality. (2) Because of its role as homage. It is directly inspired by Dziga Vertov’s 1929 silent classic “Man With a Movie Camera.” (3) Because it represents an almost unbelievable technical proficiency."

http://www.neatorama.com/

2011

"Now hold on there buddy. My plan is perfect. Okay? And I don't need you criticism right now. It's the idiots I am working with that are gonna keep us in this slam forever. You get me QUALITY animals and I will get you free. I just can't work with fucking amateurs.".

(see what I did there? The judgment bear is upset at being judged himself. I pulled the old switcheroo on ya)

I am watching VH1's 'Most Annoying People of 2010' right now. It's basically comedians giving their reactions to the worst behaviors of the famous people and celebrities. Fun stuff. Lots of judgment going on. It's very cathartic.

About half the people they mention are from Britain because it's a British program so you had to really be a dickhead to get on this prestigious list. To make another countries 'best of the worst' you know that your douchbaggery has gone GLOBAL. Way to get out your brand out there.

What kind of year has it been when Mel Gibson is only number 6??? There are five people left to go that were more intolerable that him. I don't care what other world's say. Earth is the most awesome planet EVER. We got us one humdinger of a civilization working here.

Charlie Sheen was so high up on the list that he barely registered.

2011 has a lot to live up too. It's like following your sibling in high school where he/she did super well and were super popular. You have to always be working to be BETTER than that. I know it's a pain in the ass and a lot of pressure but I think that 2011 will pull it off.

I got faith in ya kid. Now go out there and show the world what you've got.

The Razor's Edge

I love the quote at the top of this poster. I think they are some of the wisest words ever created by man. I like the image they create in my mind and now I have to re-watch this movie once I find it.

60 Second Stories By Kal - Carrie - Part One

This is my graduation picture. I know what you are going to say? "Really, you were a nice looking human male back then. What the hell happened to you, man?"

I could lie and say that I was in a horrible train wreck but lets just blame my decline on hard living and a lifestyle that up to about 5 years ago was pretty much zoomy zoom all the time.

I remember saying when I was a kid that the world spins at about 1000 miles and hour and it's still too slow for me.

You would think that with such a relentless drive to move and do something that it would have paid off and shown itself in my physique today. (I should have ended up looking like Iggy Pop) But, no, I am the living embodiment of a modern day Cyclops taken straight from Greek mythology. I am definitely not the man I used to be.


But what started the idea of this post was seeing this picture while I was searching through my photos. I got me thinking about high school.

In 1981 my Dad was transferred from the military base in Shilo, Manitoba to the city of Red Deer Alberta. He was nearing almost 30 years in the military and was a Chief Warrant Officer which is the highest non-commissioned rank you can get in the Canadian Military.

The brass wanted him to help run the Military Reserve Program in Red Deer. It was an artillery unit and my Dad's expertise in the military was field artillery, specifically the big guns.

He was highly regarded for his skills in this area. His training methods and successes with new recruits in this field were among his many strengths as a soldier. He had a passion for what his role was (which led to his hearing loss later in life - you can't fire that many shells and escape the side-effects) and that came through in his teaching. I got alot of my natural teaching ability just by getting raised by the man.

Anyway - we moved and I had to start my 11th year of high school in a new Catholic city school right next to the Armory building where my dad worked. A big city school with about 400 kids where I was coming from school that had never more than 100 in all grades if we were lucky. Camille J. Larouge High School was the largest Catholic school in the city and we were right across the parking lot from the public school, Lindsay Thurber High School (or Linsay 'Torp' as my immigrant mother would pronounce it) that had about 1800 students. You can imagine our football rivalry was epic with us always being a huge underdog. Our mascot was the Camille Cougar. There's was a pirate, the Raider.

But I digress again. This is not a football story.

Everything about that move seemed like destiny for all of us. My Dad got this great new posting and we got the chance to move to a new place and experience a different way of living. My family had been transferred about every 4 years and that seemed like just about enough time in one place before we needed a nice change of scenery.

Red Deer was a mythical beautiful town to me since I started attending cadet camps in the summer at Camp Penhold right outside of the city. Penhold was an former air force pilot training base but they ran Air Cadet training during the summer.

Think of summer camp only with marching and uniforms.

I spent summers when I was 13, 14, and 15 as a cadet and returned as a paid instructor when I was 16, 17 and 18 (coolest summer job ever).

I was always so impressed with Red Deer when we drove into the city to use their large pool. I never imagined that I would be living there one day. I thought we would always be on a nice military base like Shilo Manitoba where I was living up to 1981

Red Deer was like a park back then. It was gorgeous and still is. Population was about 50,000 in 1981 when we moved there. It's place is right between the Alberta capital of Edmonton in the North and Calgary in the south. We are referred to as Central Alberta.

So there I was. New school, new city, new everything.

I hope I have set the scene for you. If so come back tomorrow to hear the rest of the story because I am already over my self imposed limit.

Cute Tumblr Girls Of The Week

This Is Why We Can't Have Anything Nice

A Night in Strasbourgh, Alsace, France

When I lived in Larh, West Germany for four years as a kid, this beautiful place was a half our trip across the border. It's the location of one of the great Gothic cathedrals - Cathedral of Notre Dame. I will do a larger post about this place later in the week. I just saw the night picture and was reminded of how much I loved going to that city as 8-12 year old.

If There Is One Thing I Simply Will Not Abide

It is a group of hipster Beatnicks. I would rather be a smelly hippie than these pretencions gits.

Wallflowers - One Headlight

This is on my top ten list of songs I would sing at Karaoke night. Oh yes, Cal has a beautiful singing voice like his Father did. All that listening to old country as a kid taught me everything I needed to know to harmonize with any song I hear. Driving around and singing in the car with a friend is just about my favorite thing to do.

No Big Deal

Just Stan Lee and Ringo.

My Favorite Book

This a first edition of DUNE which I would die to have for the cover alone. It would look so good as the cover got more tattered around the edges from constant reading of the story. This was published in the year I was born and is as precious and sacred to me as books like the Harry Potter books are to other people. When I connect with people (Sarah) who KNOW what I mean when I refer to 'gom jabar', Bene Gesserat' or 'Fremen' I instantly like them. It's like we have a shared 'spice' experience and I am not talking about the girl music group.

Now THIS Is A Sock Monkey

Can you imagine if you had this in your home and had young kids who could choose this path to get to their rooms if they wanted? For safety reasons you would want a quicker way for them to get out of their rooms but to be able to crawl over this guy when you were FIVE (especially if you were being chased by someone in your family while playing) would be just about the greatest thing ever.

No shoes though and you must have pants on at all times while being atop the sock monkey.

I would also switch out the stairs for a ramp.

The appeal would be great for the older kids and parents too. Can you imagine having a certain 'look' that you would give your little brother or sister or child that would signal them that the pursuit was on?

Little kid tearing for the safety that lies just PAST the sock monkey while being chased by someone (or all your brothers and sisters) who will give them at least a dozen 'noogies' as punishment for getting caught just short of that goal.

That poor child would be jumpy as a Tree Lemur but so into it. Like 'Tweek' on South Park.

Never Let It Be Said...

That I don't love my sister girls. Here is one just for you from the frozen Tundra. You know, if Polar Bears mauled both me and Sean here, we would look identical. Who is catnip NOW? Am I right?

OH England! Not YOU Too?

OMG. I am speechless. I am without speech. I swear when the aliens invade us next winter we just might leave you all to your fate. Get up off your knees...please. If I show you people my lighter will you make me your king/god?

News Headline - Icy conditions force walkers to crawl across road.

I Can't Promise This Will Be The Last Scolding You Will Get From Me This Winter

I swear if I hear one member of a nation outside of Canada bitch about the snow I am going to go off my nut. It's your own damn fault that you are in this situation.

First of all, it's SNOW - frozen water - the same that you will find in the freezer of any fridge. It's not plutonium.

I should let America know that after last winter we offered you subscriptions to a program that would have elite teams of highly trained individuals mobilize on 2 hours notice to help you co-ordinate your response to the Great White Satan.

AND there would have been free Tim Horton's coffee and maple dipped donuts for everyone.

But you had to be cheap. Didn't want any of our 'socialistic winter survival techniques' and our 'Muslim mittens'. How is that working for y'all?

And where is your great savior Sarah with all her moose hunting experience now? You think if she cared that she would be doing her daily 'Sarah's Snow' tips on the radio.

Hope you live until spring. If not, pass on your warm boots to people who can make use of them. For now just get off your crosses. Someone needs the wood for a fire.

Meow Mix

By The Numbers

So if I read this math correctly, Paris Hilton is ‘less than’ a yellow paint roller? When the math is this strong you can’t really question the results.

Russle Peters Classic Comedy

The Olsen Twins

I am sorry to say this to all the people who love these two but I want to hit them both in the head with a shovel. That is how little I enjoy seeing them. They are creepy. Like Robert Shaw said about sharks in 'Jaws' - "You know a thing about a shark? He's got eyes, lifeless eyes, dead eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.". Well, that is the look these two have perfected.

I have rarely seen a picture where they are smiling. It's like they were made in a lab and not the good 'Dolly the sheep kind of lab' but something left over from Nazi experiments and they escaped their creators. See already I have made them more interesting. Even the two of them, working together, can't make one human person.

How could you look at basically YOURSELF all day long?

And the picture above - tell me if I got this right. One is STREET (she talks tough, loves rap music and has no time for authority) and the other isn't (she follows the rules and never steps out of line or express an opinion for fear that it will upset somebody - but they will find some way to compromise and meet in the middle to solve all their problems one magical day. OMG that is lame. Or do they switch places? That is original.

How have they never made a major Hollywood movie. Sure they made all that twin crap when they were little and we know they are a media empire with lots of cash. Why not make something interesting instead of doing nothing but show up to red carpet 'events'. Nice that you use your fame to actually do some good in this world.

I have had a great idea in my head for the movie I would make if I were them

Why not have one twin just KILL the other twin because she wants her life. THAT is a movie I would watch because I would know that when one Olsen died, the other would soon follow. It's like old men who have their long term spouses die after a long marriage. They don't usually last the year.

I have a great twist ending idea for this one but you don't get to hear it because then they will hear it and make my movie idea. They don't deserve to be in a movie this great. I would rather CGI two Yogi Bears for the leads than see them get any praise at all.

I just want to shake them while screaming something about their eyes following me no matter where I am in the room.

My god Kal, tell me what you really think.

You Got A Spoonful Of Snow. How Adorable

Okay, I concede that storms like do not happen all that often in New York so my much loved American brothers and sisters could be forgiven for thinking that it is the end of the world. But good lawd people. The reaction to the snow and all the disruption it caused in people's lives, however, is insane.

Europe got blasted too but even the French took it in stride.

It's SNOW and not even and above average amount. Get yourself some mittens and deal with it. Stay indoors. Don't go to work and make some babies so that nine months from now the media has some other stupid story to chase - 'All These Snow Babies - Bin Laden Secret Weather Machine Creates Thousands Of Home Grown Recruits For Jihad"

This clip has crappy audio but I agree with the 'Daily What' that the scene is something out of an end of the world disaster movie scenario. Greatest city in the world is New York. Show me some of the legendary grit which you have in spades and help each other out. If you want to whine, you might as well be living in New Jersey.



The Great Blizzard of the Year of Our Lord 2010 has given form to many post-apocalyptic “after” images — most notably Brian Elmquist’s Roland Emmerich-esque snapshot of Coney Island Ave in Brooklyn.

YouTuber unbreakable678 visited the same street shortly after the all-clear was sounded, and captured a scene not unlike the very end of the world.

Movies I Want To See In 2011

I am tired of this trend of movie trailers being released a YEAR or more in advance. They show me a cool trailer and I have to wait forever for the actual product to arrive. By the time it does I am so pissed to be kept waiting that long that I am acutally lookig forward to the movie failing. The following movies look worth the wait, however.

The Adjustment Bureau



The Green Hornet



Sucker Punch



Source Code



Thor



Super 8



Green Lantern



Cowboys and Aliens

Daily Reminder

All they are good for is snack food.

Riddle Me This

Everything else being equal, do you think in a world were super-powered mutants existed that it would be harder for you to ‘come out’ to your parents as a mutant or a homosexual?

I NEVER Post Without An Image But I Don't Want To Distract Anyone From This Important Message

It's bad enough that your woman has brought you on the Maury Povich show to subject you to a lie detector test that you arrogantly THINK you can BEAT (Only George Constanza can beat one. As he said, "It's not a lie, if you believe it.") but you don't even watch the show to know enough not to kiss the undercover girl they have left alone in a room with you to bust your ass for your scummy behavior. You must have such an ego to think that this hot woman is into you that you deserve all the misery you are going to get.

It amazes me every time I see it played out. Gentlemen, listen to me, IF you are cheating on your girl (and you are a douchbag for doing so in the first place) you deny deny and deny but you NEVER go on the Maury Povich show. You make the rest of us look bad when you do.

Red Lenin By Andy Warhol

I often imagine how Russia would have been different and world history would have been different if Comrade Lenin had lived beyond the Revolution. I suspect he would not have been ruthless enough to survive the savagery of Stalin.

Moria By Alan Lee

This is one of the best 'Lord of the Rings' images I have ever seen. What great symbolism. How insignificant is the 'Fellowship' when compared to the task they have set themselves to complete? How utterly hopeless their situation? However, they all just move forward towards the light until they either succeed or fall.

I Hate To Say It, But...

THIS one is the best one I have ever come up with. I hate that it's not a cat one but divine inspiration comes the way it comes and I just have to accept that.