Tiger, Tiger, Tiger

I just saw on the news that some Canadian doctor was providing 'enhancement drugs' to poor Tiger. Nice, drag us into this 'scandal'. This whole thing is starting to get funnier and funnier as the days go by. I bet his handlers are encouraging him to go on Oprah to cleanse his soul with an hour full of apologies. The inevitable interview or weepy press conference seems to be the script every powerful man follows when they are caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

I just wish instead of that bullshit he would just come out and say - "Hell yeh I schtupt her. I schtupted all of them. I am motherfarkin TIGER WOODS bitch! And if you are not careful I will schtup your wife and your wife and your wife too. Let's hope your wife doesn't have any sisters because if they do, I am gonna tap that also. Are we clear now people? I am TIGER WOODS, athlete of the decade, and I am gonna get mine." My idea has the added advantage of having never been tried. There is no down side. Everyone hates him already. I guarantee if he read my statement he would secretly have the respect of all the men in the world and most of the women.

If we were all honest with ourselves we would admit that if the pussy was being tossed at you like it was tossed at Tiger that you would hit it. You would do worse than Tiger and sleep with not only the pretty ones but the ugly ones as well. Men are just hardwired to chase after women. It's like that fever Spock had in 'Amok Time'. Once he got some sweet lovin' the fever passed and he could make rational decisions again.

Have you noticed that not one of his hoes are complaining that he had sex with them. Not a one. So what if he loses his endorsements. I am sure the Viagra people and the large porn companies will be only too happy to pay him to be a spokesperson for their products. He got more money than God already.

It must have been really hard for him to keep this secret all these years - always worrying that one day he would be found out and his wife would take a 9 iron to his head at 2 am. It had to have an huge impact on his golf game. He is probably relieved that the stress is off him. Police always tell suspects that it will feel better if they unburden themselves and just admit what they did. Nine times out of ten they are right. I bet he makes a comeback on the links and plays even BETTER than he has been playing the game all these years.