If I live out the year I will consider myself lucky. Remember the old Cave of Cool when I am gone. The blood is officially the consistency of the finest maple syrup. I should be on some stamp representing key figures in Canadian cultural history - Cal - he so loved this country that he eventually found his blood had turned into maple syrup. Tap that tree bitches and lets boil us some pancake juice. Nothing finer than to drizzled some hot syrup on the snow and eat up the resulting nectar with a spoon.
The irony is that I will never enjoy that flavor again - no that isn't right. The truth is that I will go out with half a maple glazed donut in my mouth. Between long life on a diet of Melba toast is no way for Calvin to live.
I wish I never knew about this stupid disease. I wish my stupid Grandmother - who never liked me or my sister because we had travelled the world and my father (He left to join the army at 15 so that tells you alot about his relationship with her.) made sure we had culture and education - would have never passed her evil hillbilly genetics to me.
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22 comments:
I do love me some maple syrup!
Genetics sometimes really suck. Especially when used as a device of revenge...
You'll learn to love Melba Toast. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But some day. I did!
dude, P90x would burn that sugar right outcha blood. I am on week 5.
I will look into that. Thanks for the tip.
The grand ol' genetic lottery can definitely be a crapshoot.
Is that your dad & grandmother in the picture?
Yeh. My dad was a beautiful man when he was young. Record breaking athlete, dancer, singer, and the life of the party. He always made sure that everyone was having a good time.
It sucks that when people have to deal with this shit, I always think of 12 other people who really deserve it... You're going to taste good on pancakes, though.
There's some fuckers we can use it to choke...
You dad was very charming. Your grandma was stupid and so is diabetes.
xoRobyn
YEH..stupid stinkin' mouse poop diabetes.
Have you looked into stevia yet? It's a healthy alternative to sugar that diabetics are supposed to be able to use and be a great substitute for some of your favorite things.
No I haven't. But I am going to the bulk food store and the diabetic store today. I would like to be able to get a sugar free chocolate bar or cherry tootsie pops that I can eat.
"Cal - he so loved this country that he eventually found his blood had turned into maple syrup." So your from Vermont? Everyone knows thats where syrup comes from.
My Dad has had this for many years, his biggest thing to give up was the beer. Foods that is much easier, make it a challenge to find new stuff. Spicy is in your wheel-house thats a great place to start. I love to cook and make new stuff. My darling fiancée is on a no carb no sugar diet and I manage to find new stuff for her each day.
Are you kidding me? Vermont maple syrup is a nice substitute but the frickin' maple leaf is on our FLAG. 'nuff said.
You are one of the good ones. I think I need to get my mail order bride here from the Ukraine so that she can cook for me and enjoy our luxuries like indoor plumbing and milk that is kept cold in a fridge and not the creek.
Aren't you still at the beginning of this journey? Give it time, my Canadian Maple Syrup infused friend. Time!
I thought there were hockey sticks and curling stones on your flag? There are stars on mine but I make no claim to the universe. At least being a smart-ass didn't get me warned for a duel this time.
What did I ever do to give you the impression that I was a patient man? If I did, let me disavow you of that assumption.
Be careful of that sugar-free chocolate, Cal. It's usually sweetened with sorbitol which will give you the major shits if you eat too much of it. Just sayin'.
No, but THAT crack has only confirmed out dawn meeting. My second will be in touch with your second with all the pertanent details. The dress is tales and top hats. Monocle is optional.
(On a totally different matter - "There are stars on mine but I make no claim to the universe. " is just good writing.)
Debra - are those shits the good clensing kind or the difficult 'can't even read kind?' If it's the good type and all that they will take up is my time then I am prepared to make the sacrifice. I got lots of magazines to read anyways.
Courage, my boreal friend!
And please, invite us to your resurrection party.
OK Cal/Kal -- it's your party, LOL!
Thanks Debra. It really IS all about me, isn't it? Too much information about my potty habits?
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