Warcraft (2016)

I am not much of a modern day gamer so I can't tell you how close Warcraft comes to it's online origins. The movie expects us to know who these characters are and what motivates them but I found I was lost and zoned out through most of the conversations. The ugly brutes are mostly bad and the handsome humans are mostly good but everyone speaks with an English accent.

This is big and noisy CGI that doesn't show me anything new especially with all the fantastic creatures and magic that inhabit this world. It all comes off like Lord of the Rings light...LOTRs VERY light. I cared little for these characters or their plight. Much soaring music and mystical scenes of great power is no way to cover up for a lack of an interesting story. This tale is muddled as are the battle scenes which often make no sense. Why do NONE of the Knights wear helmets and how can small humans defeat such huge creatures as the Orcs? It would be like me vs a group of toddlers armed with forks. I would kick their asses. It all makes little sense.You can learn all you need to know from the trailer. It's basically Dances With Orcs.

This one was made by Duncan Jones, the son of David Bowie and the filmmaker who created the excellent film MOON. He went from small independent film to big time CGI blockbuster. That could not have been easy. Where MOON was quiet, Warcraft doesn't know when to STOP making noise. I was happy when the movie ended mostly because I wanted the racket to end. No surprises here. You can wait for this one to appear on the Netflix where if you don't expect much, you won't feel that let down.

Warcraft Movie Posters by Kevin Tong