This Is The Reason We Can't Have Anything Nice

Penis Study Ends Prematurely

In June, Professor Alicia Walker from Missouri State University garnered attention when she detailed plans for her study of a possible correlation between penis size and self-esteem. More notably, she announced that she would be seeking men to submit pictures of their genitals over the Internet. Now, the researcher has called off her project after an overwhelming public reaction which compromised the reliability of the study.

Walker wanted around 3,600 penis photos. To take part, men had to fill out an online survey, measure their manhood, and send in the picture as proof. A chat with the professor was optional.

The response to Walker’s study was enthusiastic. She said she received hundreds of emails each day from men looking to participate. The sheer number of phone interviews made it harder and harder for Walker to obtain useful data from each one.

She also had to disregard numerous entries by men who either gave joke answers or submitted gag pictures of their penises. SpongeBob SquarePants cartoons were a popular choice. Furthermore, the search didn’t yield a diverse enough sample as most men willing to send in penis pics tended to be on the gifted side. Professor Walker might retry the study at a later date, but for now, it’s on ice.

What did she think was going to happen when she SOLICITED for dick pics? This was giving permission to all these freaks. They couldn't wait to measure or worse yet already had a picture to send with their dick next to a can of Pepsi. And did she want flacid or erect? For some guys that makes a lot of difference. And what about the POOL and cold temperatures? For this kind of 'science' you want to present your penis in it's best light. Speaking of lighting....

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