Headlines This Week

 

What flavor of Jello? WHAT? It matters?

And if cows drive tractors that is a GAME CHANGER on the farm.

I love this kind of madness because some Hillbillies will believe it.

And that kind of stupidity is delicious to me.

 

So what have we learned?

• Heaven has different seasons.
• Heaven has a surf park with 80-foot waves (but don’t worry; you’ll be safe).
• Heaven has horses to ride.
• Each floor of Heaven has a different aroma.
• In Spring, the “trees sing, the flowers will dance with you, even the rocks cry out and worship Him.”
• Heaven has “flowercopters” to carry people into the air.
• Heaven has cows that drive tractors.
• In Heaven, kids take art classes taught by rabbits. Giant rabbits. Giant multi-colored rabbits. Who help the kids paint the eggs with “liquid light” so they can draw Minions on them. And inside the eggs are baby chicks or rabbits. Somehow.
• The kids sit on mushrooms that rise up into the air.
• The Easter traditions were invented in Heaven.
• There’s a city in Heaven made out of Jell-O where you can “eat the mailboxes.” Kids love it.
• Heaven has a roller coaster where you leap through the air and go under the sea.

Tell me again how religion isn’t a delusion?