No You Didn't!! This Is The FUCKIN' End Of The Line

Lego, we are officially broken up.

You know that we have had a rocky relationship since my youth. All you offered our relationship was a square tile and a rectangular tile, a base and maybe a door and a window. I realize at the time that was all you had to give.

I know it wasn't your fault that I grew up but I did. I had no right to expect you to just wait for me so you also just moved on and look at what you have become. You became the best Lego you could be. I suppose I should be proud of you for that.

However, you kept me from enjoying your success by waving it in my face at every opportunity. Each new set and each new innovation just became another excuse for you to be mean to me.

I didn't deserve to be shown all the new things you could build with your new friends. You implied that I had no imagination while at the same time you gave me nothing other than the basics to create with.

I argue that the projects I did do required MORE imagination than the kids need today to build the dazzling Lego worlds that they do. Why do they need to imagine when you give them EVERYTHING?

But this is the straw that broke the camel's back. This is the one true thing that will forever symbolize our shattered relationship - This is a FUCKING STEPHEN HAWKING figure made from Lego pieces you can just buy off the shelf. Nothing is custom. When you can make the smartest man in the world, in his wheelchair, out of Lego and have it be recognized as him - well that is to much for me.

I would wish a good life for you but I don't really care if you have a good life or not. I just hope the pressure of having to constantly re-invent yourself like Madonna turns you into a bitter, old crank with a fake British accent over time. Please don't contact me or leave little presents in my mailbox. All such enticements will be returned.

Calvin