Pose Your Questions

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

You can read about the first time I saw Star Wars here. It's not my favorite movie but it's in the top five and is the best movie story I have.

2: Talk about your first kiss.

I have talked about this before - Tara Crandall and I watching 'Killdozer'. It too two hours for me to move from my chair to her couch. I kissed her once and her parents came home.

3: Talk about the person for which you've had the most intense romantic feelings.

Probably myself because I am really cool. Honest. I like myself most days.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

I never found anyone to love me enough to want to marry me and raise a family with me. That is all right, however. I would have failed at that mission in a spectacular way and why ruin the lives of other people.

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.

Maybe one or two when I was really little but usually birthdays only remind me of how alone I am.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.

Everyone before I stopped celebrating them.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

I am afraid of having all my bullshit called by someone who COULD love me.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

The things I have created from my own two brains.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

I have the legs of a GOD but the rest of me is kinda all over the place.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.

I have been in an honest rootin' tootin' saloon brawl but me and the guy I grabbed didn't fight. We just danced around the room. The next day I was the only one without a bruise so the legend of my fighting skills grew with each retelling of the story. I corrected no one on their errors.

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.

This will sound weird but the day my dad died I dreamed of him that night. BJ Honeycutt from MASH brought me to him so we could talk. That surprised me because he always preferred Hawkeye.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.

When the Admiral went missing for several weeks I dreamed that Mummies came into the house and killed me. Without him to protect me I was just chum in the water. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't wake up to make the horror stop.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex.

I was driving in the camper truck with my girl and her Dad. He suggested her and I ride in the back of the camper because we would probably hate his music all the way to Winnipeg. She had me out of the cab so fast that I didn't have time to question the wisdom of leaving me alone with his horny daughter for a two hour ride. I couldn't look him in the eye ever again.

14: Talk about a vacation.

Austria and Bavaria. The Alps. Castles.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

I was always too aware of my surroundings to ever be content.

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.

Up North the nuns of Yellowknife always had a great party when the midnight sun arrived. They made you sing Kumbaya first but then they fed you and got you good and loaded.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

I don't need friends. I would just disappoint them so I don't want to be friends with anyone and put them through having to put up with me.

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

Sister Margaret needed a kid with a fur lined snowsuit to be the representative of the Arctic people in the 'People of the World' pageant. I had a great one that made me look like an Inuit from the firth row. An hour under those hot stage lights and I was ready to pass out and I did about ten seconds into our first number. Heat stroke was the diagnosis. So essentially a nun tried to kill me.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

I worried for a week about how to tell Tara Crandal that my friend Danny wanted to break up with her. I actually stressed because he wouldn't do it. So I told her. She laughed and said that anyone who cared that much should come over to her house and play badminton. And I did. And there was lemonade and much smooching. I learned how to treat a girl from that experience.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

I won the top prize for Drama. And I got to play football (we lost 90% of our games). I have a less than horrific memory of High School and I am thankful for that.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

Would never happen. I have ridiculously low standards

22: Talk about your worst fear.

Losing my sight and memories.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

Her name was Mouse because she was cute and petite. She liked me. I was talking to her with egg salad sammich in my mouth and I accidentally spit it on her face. From that moment the magic was over for her. Me I would have went for that egg salad on her face. It was excellent. But when you lick someone's face they can get you arrested.

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

Someone I care very much about said that I was the most reliable person in her life - the one that could be counted on to listen and give honest, loving advice. I kinda dug that.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

He and I watched C-Beams glitter in the darkness at Tan Hauser Gate.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.

Whine like a Husky puppy.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.

I like the ass/thigh combination which when perfect usually comes with other tasty curves.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

Girls in superhero costumes, knee high boots

29: Talk about what turns you on.

Effort - trying despite all the things that conspire to hold a person down. Intelligence and an interest in the thoughts and feelings of others is the kind of person I easy can fall for.

30: Talk about what turns you off.

Stupidity. People who coast by on their looks. Fans of Twilight.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

I tend to like the way Milton described Death as a frozen lake where all feelings go to die.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

CFB Shilo Manitoba. It was so cool living on a military base.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

I brew and I stew and I promise not to hurt myself or anyone else....unless that person is Hitler and I have finished my time machine in time to meet him and kill him before one of his big rallies.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.

Watching Spaceballs or Batman and Robin. Frankly I found getting shot in the face less painful than sitting through those films for as long as I did.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

Failing kinda sucks. I would like to have a few successes in my life.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

I like to smoke a nice Cuban cigar once a week.

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

It's easy to mistake familiarity with love but if you look carefully you can see that it's not there from both parties and that is a hard thing to deal with.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

'These Are Days' By 10,000 Maniacs makes me wish I could be that hopeful and happy.

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.

How to do elaborate magical illusions.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

Coral. I miss her sometimes so much that I want to scream. Then I remember how selfish she was to me and those feelings go away and I am back to the solitary creature I was meant to be.