Latest Meme About Me

Sunday Stealing from Byzantium Shores:

I stole this from Sunday Stealing, even though I'm posting it on Monday. Weird, huh?

1. The phone rings; who don't you want it to be?

No one. I personally hate the ring of the phone even though I can often predict it within a second of it ringing. It's my superpower. I have an answering machine to get messages. If they don't leave one they don't exist.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?

Yeh, I feel guilty if I don't.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?

Talker, I ask alot of questions which my Dad told me was the best thing to do because people love to talk about themselves.

4. What was the last compliment that someone gave you?

They said they were crushing on me. How little do they know they can do so much better.

5. Do you play the lottery?

No, I am not a gambler. The risk is too high for the reward. But I give my mother money each week to buy a bunch so that she can chase the golden pony. Lately I have been asking her to use the 'Lost' numbers just for the irony of it. They ask for six numbers and those are six numbers. I wonder if anyone ever won big with that choice?

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, who would you want with you?

Sasquatch - that freak is all right.

7. Do you like to ride horses?

They are too big but when you are a big guy you want/need an even bigger horse to feel good that you are not hurting the horse and a creature THAT massive is approaching mutant creature territory.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?

Day camp, bible camp, cub camp, scout camp (including the World Scout Jamboree in 1977), Cadet Camp - it wasn't summer if I didn't go off to camp. I loved it and loved coming home to all my stuff afterwards just as much. Had to get away from the folks in the summer or I would have developed a drinking problem. Even as a toddler I am sure she had me out working in the garden.

9. What is your favorite party game?

"Whose Panties Am I Wearing?"

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?

"No. Like Ray Romano said - "Yeh, sure, I am having an affair. That is JUST what I need. TWO women mad at me. No matter how sexy she was I know I would let her down at some point and I don't need the guilt."

11. When was the last time that you lied?

Two questions ago. More of a joke than a lie. I don't wear panties."

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?

As long as they don't preach at me. Or are a scientologist or a Jesus Freak. Any of the NORMAL religions are fine - Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Islam that are not extreme in their views. I so hate absolutist thinking.

13. If you have a S/O, who pursued who? If not, do you like to pursue or be pursued?

Pursued sure builds up your confidence to pursue

14. Use six words to describe yourself.

I will use 16 - "The World is not enough! But it is such a perfect place to start, my love."

15. Name a song that could make you cry?

"The Dance - Garth Brooks"

16. Are you pleased with your education?

Absolutely - Five years post high school - BA in Classics and Bachelor of Education degrees.

17. How do you feel about gun control?

NO GUNS IN GOTHAM - good enough for the Dark Knight - good enough for me. While I have handled and shot most everything out there I hate guns. They are too easily used to solve problems. The guns should be given away free but charge 5000 dollars per bullet. Everyone should carry a sword. Then you have to work on the skill it would take to kill someone or protect yourself. I just want my own sword.

18. If your house was on fire, what thing would be the first thing you grabbed?

Cat but not Mom (don't hate me...woman is 70 and can MOVE like the wind and don't need my help for anything)

19. How often do you have a romantic weekend?

Aren't you sweet for asking

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?

A bit of all three actually

21. What was the last adult magazine that you have read?

I know I have some Playboys from the 80s downstairs. I had a subscription for a year in the 80s and thought I was so sophisticated for doing so.

22. What are you told about your eyes?

"Windows to a very old soul." I liked that.

23. How tall is just right?

Anything not freakishly tall like that gooney man-beast of a Kardashian sister. You know the one. The one that is not pretty and towers over the other two.

24. Where is your dream house located?

I am living in it baby. Anywhere I am is a 'Cave of Cool' so I have no complaints.

25. Do you have a secret fetish?

I have told the story about the hooker with the high pirate boots wearing a fur coat and nothing else that bought a Poppy from me when I was a teenage Air Cadet. So I do love the boots - but hate naked women with high heels. THAT is trashy.

26. Have you tried bourbon? If yes, what type?

Sure. Used to go to a great food and drink show in Edmonton that let you buy tokens to try most ever type of booze out there. Was awesome during University.

27. Have you ever seen a male or female stripper?

No,momma says strippers are the devil. And if you believe that.....But I need to say that I would much rather see strippers with men than woman. Women lose their shit especially over the male strippers. Once, at one of those unisex clubs I actually worried for that poor bastard and his life. Sure, it a nice way to go but shesh.

28. When was the last time you were at TGI Fridays?

We don't have one here but do have something similar. I like the big food.

29. When was the last time you were at Church?

A church will never again see me pass through its doors unless I am carrying a jug of gasoline. I have real problems with the Catholic Church and I was raised one.

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?

The bathroom. That is funny. No I actually went out to plant two containers of cat grass. Like I love beet leaf bread in the summer, he too has his preferred delicacies.

31. What was your favorite job?

Teaching on Baffin Island during the winter. Was like being on the moon or the movie 'The Thing' by John Carpenter. I was in the second coldest day EVER recorded up to that time on planet Earth. We had to turn our stoves on when the heating plant died. They were considering a mass evacuation but there was no way they could do that because of the cold. Was wicked cool fun.

33. Bud is hosting Thursday Thunks this week. Will you play?

Who is this 'BUD'?

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?

I wish my Dad because he looked like James Garner when he was younger. But it's my mom. It's one of those things were people who know her will come up to me and ask me it I am 'her' son in the grocery store.

35. Who was the last person that you showered with (it's okay to leave out the name)?

The cat, when he thought for a second that he was missing out on something. It was one of those days that I think I was going to die because he would not leave me alone or be more than two feet away from me all day. Cat's in the nursing homes do that with patients who are dying. I believe they do it to protect the soul from the Devil.