Another Massive Meme About Me - The First Fifty

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

The girl at the deli counter who makes the feta cheese filled red peppers.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

I am neither and both all at the same time.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

No one. I don't need to pressure of letting someone down. That's deep but that's the truth.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I live alone. I have no friends. What do you think?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I would like to think so.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People whose sentences I can't finish in my head.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I hope not. I don't need the stress.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Your Momma.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Only with your Momma in the room.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

The sad part is that I can't remember.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Cal and Machete don't text. Typing with my thumbs doesn't impress me.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Is that a thing?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

No, but I do believe in Karma and the righteous Universal retribution it brings.

15. What good thing happened this summer?
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Mathematically there has to be the same random conditions that created life on this planet everywhere else in the Universe.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Strangely I can't remember.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Find me someone who doesn't.

20. Do you like your neighbors?
21. What are your bad habits?

I don't have any. I am perfect. What are you trying to imply around here?

22. Where would you like to travel?

From my bedroom to the bathroom.

23. Do you have trust issues?

All up the ying yang do I have trust issues.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Waking up after I have actually fallen asleep. I feel like I won something when that happens.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Can I say all of it. No, I have the legs and shoulders of a GOD.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

I attack the day. Doesn't my lifestyle reflect that?

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Dark skinned people do seem to have it tougher than your lighter skinned tones.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Myself and the cat.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I have no ex's.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I think that boat has sailed for me.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

No, but my beard is.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Your Momma and your Grandmomma. What, they are not famous? I would MAKE them famous. Damn, that is good writing.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

What did that achieve?

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I would love to get back into curling or fencing but I just walk. Is that a sport? I miss floor hockey as well as dodgeball, basketball, volleyball and archery.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I couldn't live without either. I sing like a bird. Why would I deprive the world of that in exchange for the sweet embrace of television. It's like cutting the baby in half. I can't do it. TV has music on it. You can't separate the two.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All the time. I know my limitations.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I don't know what those are. I am good at filling those spaces with brilliant conversation. I can talk to anyone. It's a gift.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

She likes me and can't understand what all the fuss is about. She thinks I am delightful company, witty, charming, thoughtful and kind. And that is why she will marry someone else.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

The Piggly Wiggly because I want to say, "I am going to the Piggly Wiggly."

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Go into the spy business. I love all the gadgets.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Except for Hitler and Kim Kardashian because they have hurt us all enough for one lifetime.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

That everything is A OK.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Only in combat situations.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space would be the dream and the bottom of the ocean is the nightmare. I know what lives down at those depths and it does not have our best intentions in it's cold, black heart....or what passes for a heart in the cephalopod.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Inertia

46. What are you paranoid about?

Hillbilly racists with guns. I don't know why though. They do seem pretty reasonable, right? Just like everyone who thinks they can make things better just by shooting everyone they hate.

47. Have you ever been high?

Oh aren't you sweet to ask. I have made no secret of my love of the halfling's leaf.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Not in a long, long time. Bad hangover cured me of any advantages drinking brought to my life. So glad I don't have a taste for it.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yeh, pretty sure they will find the bodies before spring. We have had warm weather and not very much snow this winter.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Green. I love this jacket. Perfect for layering. Not too much and not too little in whatever winter conditions we get. I really would look scary to anyone who encounters me in public. I got the Unibomber look going on.