This Idea Is Only Mostly Stupid

I only worry about the teacher who gets beaned in the head by a can of pumpkin pie filling. It absolutely would happen if you put the idea into some kid's head. Instead of making things safer you just put a deadly weapon in the hands of fifth graders. I would sue entire school district if one of those window lickers assaulted me in such a fashion. Good thing I don't have a gun or taser in the classroom. I would be the one to pull my weapon at the first sign of shenanigans.

How do you even practice for such an event. What is that drill like? I would get some kid to dress up in the school's mascot classroom and burst into class at an unscheduled moment. You can see the comedy potential from down the hallway.

According to the Associated Press, Priscella Holley, principal at W. F. Burns Middle School in Valley, Alabama, sent out a letter to parents on Friday explaining that children can fling the cans of peas, corn and Irish potatoes at individuals who would do them harm.

Holley asked that parents arm their children with eight ounce cans of their choice of foodstuffs, so that the students might “stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive.”