Everytime I Think I Am OUT, They Pull Me Back IN

 

I am reprinting an old post from 2016 now that MD Jackson has convinced me to do my own Cave of Cool Podcast. Half hour once a week. MD Jackson will be helping me with the production. But like the Cave of Cool this will be my baby. Don't worry, when I hit the big time I will remember the little people who supported my genius all along.

 

 

One of my great online friends is MD Jackson. I don't remember how we found each other but once I saw his work I knew I needed to commission him to design the header for my Cave of Cool. I saw myself as a heroic figure fighting evil cephalopods with the help of Selena Gomez, Kat Denning, my cat, (The Admiral) and the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt because Teddy was the most badass guy that ever lived. I had no idea how he would represent my goofy concept to the world. The result, as I see every single day, was more than I could have ever dreamed to hope. It's gorgeous. He saw me as I see myself as a great hero of the people. And from there it inspired this plushie of my greatness.

Anyway, since we met MD has become a great friend and supporter of the balloon juice I produce here at the Cave of Cool. His wife also has been amazing to me and I feel that we would get on like gangbusters. She's my kind of 'broad' and trust me, to Frances, this would be a great compliment and I mean it as my highest praise.

MD is also a writer and Magazine Publisher when he is not being an artist. I admire his sense of humor and the fact that he has always found something to value in me. Today I read this rant he did about the punk kids coming out of SDCC 2016 with complaints about what they saw or heard. They are spoiled. They don't know how good they have it. They don't know they live in a pop culture GOLDEN AGE. But MD said it better than me. Check it out and hear what happens to a man when the internet breaks them. I fear I am not too far with my happy/sad Facebook feed.

I'm at that point.

You know the one, especially if you're a parent and you've been listening to the kids whine about how unfair everything is and how their life sucks. You get to that point and suddenly the Dad comes out in you and you lecture your kids about how good they have it compared to when you were a kid.
You try to resist, because you know that it never really makes a difference and your kids will just stare at you like some alien that has just walked into the house ...speaking Klingon.

But I'm there now. I've been watching all this incredible stuff coming out of SDCC and I've also been listening to the whiny-ass fanboys complaining about how nothing is exactly how they want it and it had better not suck or how the (Insert Comic book company name here - which one doesn't matter) cinematic universe has lost it and has to be rebooted post haste.

To all you fanboys: STFU.

No... better yet, I'm not talking to you in textspeak anymore... I'm Dad now and I'm talking like a dad. Fanboys, shut the fuck up!

You're getting so much amazing stuff and all you do is whine and complain. It's like getting a huge fucking haul at Christmastime and complaining because the phone I got you wasn't the exact brand you wanted.

Oh boo-hoo.

You know what I had at your age? I had Star Trek re-runs. Heavily edited on old and dirty and badly spliced film reels. We didn't have a blockbuster movie to watch and a new series to look forward to.
We didn't have a DOCTOR STRANGE movie with A-list actors and top notch visual effects to look forward to. We had a TV movie done on cheap sets and starring Peter Hooten with a 70's porn 'stache.

We didn't have Justice League starring an OSCAR WINNING ACTOR, we had... never mind. You don't want to know what we had. 90 minutes of our life we'll never get back, that's what we had.
You fanboys (and I don't care how young or old you are) are fucking ungrateful. You've got it made, kids! You've got it made in the shade and you don't know just how good you have it.

And yet you whine and you complain like none of this amazing stuff is good enough for the likes of you.

I'm sorry, for having to go all "Dad" over it like this, but I'm at that point. I'm all out of fucks. I'm out of them. You like something? I don't give a fuck. You don't like something? I don't give a fuck.
I'm. all. out. of. fucks.