There Must Always Be A Cave of Cool

All it needs is a wall sized computer screen shaped like a bat. Then its perfect. I dont really like nor need windows. Of course then I would need to take vitamin D because I would get no sunlight. But in the winter, or in a hot hot hot summer, this would be ideal. I would always rather be cold than hot. It's so much easier to throw on a sweater than trying hard not to sweat.

But then I read that it's in Arkansa and I immediately put a kibosh on the whole deal. I choose not to live next to the reckless Hillbilly at this time in human history. Stupid, religious, racists with guns are my least favorite human demographic.

Located in a remote area of Arkansas, Beckham Creek Cave Lodge was originally built as a bomb shelter, but has been renovated into a luxury hotel. It can accommodate up to 8 guests in a subterranean maze of stalagmites and stalactites, its own waterfall and even a helipad outside for those who need to arrive in a hurry.

“The water for the cave comes from the 1.5 mile interior of the cave and flows into a holding tank which goes through a purification system. What is not used and is overflow, travels under the floor of the lodge and comes out into another holding pool beside the front door, then overflows down the mountain (in the times of heavy rain – it’s a waterfall of sorts) to then be held in the large pond down in the pasture beside the heli-pad.  The water in the pond is a beautiful azure blue from all the rich minerals and it’s stocked with fish.”

Now, the owner of the $1200 dollar a day hotel is selling up, and whoever buys it can do whatever they like with it. Superheroes and Bond-villains will no doubt be looking on with interest, but if you are in need of a little seclusion, surrounded by nature and a whole network of caves to explore, you can start the bidding yourself at a cool $2.75 million.