Monday, October 22, 2012

You Have The Greatest Sleeping Pill Sleeping Next To You

 
Dagwood, bubby, We all know that one ten minute session with Blondie would put your ass to sleep in no-time. You should be taking advantage of the skills she picked up as a truck stop hooker back before she met you.
 
I bet he is one of these 'cuddlers' who like to talk after sex, keeping the rest of the house awake with his romantic jibber jabber.
 
Just look at her. You woke her up with your anxiety and NOW should be the time when you turn on the charm. The same charm that make you salesperson of the month ZERO times running. I can see in her eyes that she is already down for whatever you suggest. Take the hint or take an Ambien but please stop complaining. You have a beautiful wife, no kids, a good job and you can eat whatever sized sammich you want and you never gain any weight. Certainly you can solve a problem as simple as this.
 

7 comments:

Erik Johnson Illustrator said...

I've often wondered what it would be like to sleep with a partner in a totally platonic sense. I can just imagine how odd it might for her if I'm constantly getting out of bed to jot down a note so that I don't forget it the next morning, or go over to computer to satisfy some curiosity on Wikipedia.

Snoring has got nothing on a creative mind starts that operates at peak efficiency when the body is trying to close up shop for the night.

Kal said...

Personally I can't fall asleep with someone beside me. I have just slept alone so long that it's my natural state. I had someone break up with me once for sleeping on the couch after she fell asleep. I guess some people find it insulting. But people but out their own BTUs and with my body heat combined we would need to sleep in an igloo (which I have done many times) just to keep the bed temperature normal.

DrGoat said...

I have a separate bedroom all my own to sleep in if I need to. I work during the week and it helps to get up early without waking my other half. Weekends we sleep together. Plus, having my own hideaway to have all my own stuff in has helped.

M. D. Jackson said...

I used to have trouble falling asleep with someone else in the bed. Now I can't sleep alone.

The Flying Dachshund said...

Not to break up the conversation of sleeping w/ other peeps in the bed, but just wanted to point out the Bumsteads do have 2 kids, Alexander and Cookie... They are teens, so it's not like they should be bursting into the room during any "activities" but they DO have kids... ;^)

Kal said...

That retard of a son wouldn't know what was going on if he did burst into his parent's room mid-screw.'

Now Cookie is just a slut like her mother. How else do you think she can afford all those 'rock and roll' albums she plays day and night.

That family just creeps me out.

The Flying Dachshund said...

It creeps me out that the kids are essentially younger versions of the parent of the same sex, without any traits from the other parent... Were they created in some lab somewhere?!? Maybe the son is some kind of messed up "challenged" version of his father.... Kind of like the 4th Doug in Multiplicity.