Yeti Time

Today was the day of the Yeti here at the Cave of Cool. First I watched a 1977 made for TV movie - 'Snowbeast' starring Bo Svenson, Evette Mimiaux and Clint Walker. An unseen creature is killing off people dumb enough to be alone on the side of the mountain near a ski resort. Of course no one believes that a creature is causing the deaths so our four heroes have to go in their motor home to finally confront the menace. Its too bad that we only get to see the hairy arm and a few seconds of the face of the bigfoot brand creature. Damn TV standards. Now anyone who knows me know I don't miss me a Bo Svenson feature and he does his usual hunky hero thing. I remember a whole spat of films like this at the time. The ones with the killer car and the killer bulldozer were the best.



The second feature called 'Yeti - Curse of the Snow Demon' (2008) is a little less skimpy on the creature make-up (if you can excuse the weak CGI and the visible seams of the Yeti costume) and has its cast full of young unknowns (this time a college football team so we can see good looking young boys and girls)for the monster to munch on. At first I wished that the arrogant quarterback would be among the first to die. I wanted to hate him a little longer and be pissed at the end that he didn't die but he was actually a good character with the best line in the film - "Not this time Chewbacca - enough is enough." Don't worry, all your other teen/yeti stereotypes are properly represented included the asshole kid who you can't wait for him to get his. The movie begins with the team flying off to Japan, a hot spot for college football, until a storm causes the plane to crash in the Himalayas and spill the drink cart (which to me is the most horrific thing of all). You gotta love the scene were everyone tries to catch the kid who DIDN'T buckle his seat belt as he goes flying out the back of the damaged plane. All I got to say is THATS WHAT YOU GET! They don't show you how the seat belt works before take-off for nothing. Now it might be me but maybe if you are standing around in the snow you would look for blankets or sweaters so you don't freeze your ass off. Its also not bad taste to warm yourself near some burning wreckage. Jeez, I can't wait for the Yeti to dine on these losers fast enough but then I got to like most of the kids. Sure its confusing that Americans are manning the Tibetan Himalayan Rescue Center but...meh. Also, since when are there trees growing on the side of the Himalayas? That show on Discovery channel about climbing Mnt. Everest never shows a tree. I can tell that this one is gonna end badly for everyone except of course the prettiest girl (who is not killed by the Yeti right away but carried off like she is gonna be his bride). Check out the gruesomeness to the cover of the DVD case which accurately reflects some of the worse violence in the picture. Its predictable grizly fun with a couple of Yeti who have more lives and take more damage to them than Jason takes in all of the Friday the 13th films. Yeti, Part 7 - 'Snowballs' anyone? I know these questions will sound sick but the survivors are forced to cook and eat some of the flesh from the dead. How long would it be before you were forced to make that choice do you think? (it was four days for our college athletes) Would you eat another person to preserve your own life? Would they really taste like chicken?