Guilty or Innocent

I collected this meme from the wondrous Ms Surge and it's interesting. You can only answer GUILTY or INNOCENT with as little comment as possible. That will be hard for me but I will try.

Asked someone to marry you? - Guilty - she first said yes then said no three days later.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Innocent
Danced on a table in a bar? - Guilty - these hips don't lie
Ever told a lie? - Guilty or do I mean Innocent?
Kissed a picture? - Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM? - Guilty - But what the hell? What am I? A Mormon?
Fallen asleep at work/school? - Guilty - feel asleep while at a staff meeting - the Principal has SUCH a soothing voice.
Held a snake? - Guilty (baby) - Once wore a ten foot python as a scarf
Been suspended from school? - Innocent - Once fought to get myself out of Religion Class and when told I could still get credit but I couldn't tell anyone, I got indignant and told the teacher and the principal that unless my three friends also got free from the class with credit I would tell EVERYONE and LEAD the revolt against a very poor teacher. And I gave them ten seconds to sign the agreement. I graduated from a Catholic High School without having to attend Religion Studies 30.
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent
Stolen from a store? - Guilty - 7/11
Been fired from a job? - Guilty - But I hated it and wanted the rest of my summer off.
Done something you regret? Guilty - daily regrets
Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? - Guilty
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Guilty - HELLO - Canada
Kissed in the rain? - Guilty
Sat on a roof top? - Guilty
Kissed someone you shouldn't? - Guilty
Sang in the shower? With this beautiful voice - Guilty
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Guilty and took every single one of those bitches in with me.
Shaved your head? - Guilty - Big Daddy don't DO the COMBOVER! And I got a beautiful head.
Had a boxing membership? - Innocent but would have always liked to learn
Made a boy/girlfriend cry? - Guilty but not proud
Been in a band? - Guilty if air bands count. Multiple wins
Shot a gun? - Guilty - Hate guns but have shot most things that can be shot
Donated Blood? - Guilty - voluntary and involuntary
Eaten alligator meat? - Innocent but I would
Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty - come on...they call me BIG Daddy
Still love someone you shouldn't? - Guilty - also a daily occurrence
Have/had a tattoo? - Innocent - too much of a baby to take the pain
Licked someone, but will never tell who? - Innocent - unless they are covered in chocolate - not gonna happen
Been too honest? - Guilty - got a nasty streak of ethics because at the end of the day I have to live with myself and that guy's got enough problems as it is.
Ruined a surprise? -Innocent
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk after wards? - Guilty - again all food questions are moot.
Erased someone in your friends list? - Innocent - only after they did it first to me
Dressed in a woman’s clothes - Innocent but they do have some nice designers out there
Joined a pageant? - Guilty - and not a PRIDE thing you bitches
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? - Innocent - never has happened, never will happen
Had communication with your ex? - Innocent - Over is OVER
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent - but got wrecked on caffeine pills before my first year Christmas Exams - so wired that when someone dropped a book I whelped like a Border Collie.
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? - Innocent - I only cry at 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' when his heart grows 3 sizes that day and gets the strenght of 2 Grinches plus 10 - oh hell...there I go again.