I cannot comment on this scandal at the present time.
But if it's true then someone at Corporate is being put on an iceflow.
Made In 1966, Based on Holling C. Holling's book of the same name, Paddle to the Sea is Bill Mason's film adaptation of the classic tale of an Indiginous boy who sets out to carve a man and a canoe. Calling the man "Paddle to the Sea," he sets his carving down on a frozen stream to await spring's arrival. The film follows the adventures that befall the canoe on its long odyssey from Lake Superior to the sea.
On this one day a year I remind you all of one of the most awesome Canadian anthems
1. "Hockey sucks"
We are very proud of our unofficial national sport (yeah, it's actually Lacrosse). So, hearing people diss it definitely breaks our hearts a little. Whenever there's a game on, you can be sure that Canada is watching. A lot of us can't even bear to talk about this year's Olympic losses, so really, just don't bring it up. You can dislike hockey all you want, just don't tell us about it unless you want to catch these hands.
2. "Poutine is gross"
Okay well honestly, you're just dumb if you say this, and also wrong. Quebecers invented poutine and it quickly took over the entire world. There are so many variations of poutine that you probably wouldn't even be able to name them all. Cheese, fries, and gravy are a heavenly combination and Canadians will defend this classic dish until their dying breath.
3. "Canada is the 51st U.S state"
This one might surprise you, but I've personally had someone ask me what part of the United States I'm from after I expressly told them that I was Canadian. This really grinds my gears, and honestly, I don't understand how people could make that mistake seeing as Canada is bigger than the U.S! I'm not saying that all Americans suck, but Canadians really don't like being compared to their southern neighbors.
4. "A-boot"
Yes, okay we get it, sometimes our accents can be a little strong. But coming up to us, and shoving it our face is just plain annoying. "A-boot" is especially annoying seeing as it is so damn overused. Pretty much every TV show on the planet has made a joke about a Canadian character and whipped out the "a-boot" catchphrase. It's over. Stop it. We're not ABOUT that anymore.
5. "This looks like Monopoly money"
5. "This looks like Monopoly money"
Honestly, I think people make fun of our money so much because they're jealous. Do you know how useful it is to have money of different colors? You don't have to waste any time rifling through your money trying to find out which bill is which. Need $5? Look for blue. Need $20? Look for green. Easy peasy. Take that Americans. Have fun wasting your time looking through your wallets.
6. "Do you get internet in Canada?"
Canada is NOT that far up North. We have all the technology that you do! We don't live in igloos (mostly), we drive cars, we have phones, and yes we definitely have internet! I'm not quite sure Canada has gotten such a reputation for being small-townish, but we have huge cities and as much advanced technology as the rest of the world.
7. "How far away do you live from Toronto?"
Let's get one thing straight, the capital of Canada is Ottawa, not Toronto. We get that it's one of our biggest cities, and that when you say "Canada" people think Drake, and thus, Toronto. But come on! We have other cities. Our country is enormous, so asking how close we are to Toronto doesn't really make sense if the answer is 10 hours away. It's especially a touchy subject for Montreal. We're cool too.
8. "Canadian beer sucks"
Whoa, la. Have you had Canadian beer? We know how to brew. We are nice and proud of our abilities. Stop calling it "moose urine" and stop being so darn snooty. It doesn't really make sense to rag on another nation's product. Don't you like variety? Aren't we supposed to celebrate differences? I think it's very unfair to insult someone's art. Period.
9. "Do you know my cousin? They live in Canada"
Like I said before, Canada is HUGE. So, no I don't know your third cousin thrice-removed from the middle of nowhere. I'm not saying we don't want to know them. We love meeting people. But, you can't just assume that everyone in Canada somehow knows each other.
10. "Canadians are so nice!"
Okay, so I know more than my fair share of Canadian assholes. We are not all nice. No matter who we are talking about here, it is never fair to lump a whole group of people in the same box. I mean, niceness is a pretty good thing to be accused of, but it's unfair to the people that are actually nice.
The streetlights work as does the plumbing.
When you call a cop or an ambulance they are there in minutes. Same goes for the fire fighters.
Every spring they clean and wash the streets. When it snows, the roads are cleared within 24 hrs.
Tim Horton's - and I don't even drink coffee but I do enjoy their donuts.
I can grow mostly flowers in my garden so that I can help the bees. We all know we are nothing without the bees. If I WANTED to grow vegetables, I could because I live on the most fertile part of this good Earth. You should see the zucchini and radishes we can produce with next to no effort. Massive, like the size of a baby's head.
Our superheroes are cooler and we DID invent Superman, the most American of all heroes. Okay, half invented.
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My entertainment industry may suck
but no one tries harder to entertain and enlighten than Canadians. More of us
are in Hollywood than you think. There are no people who understand comedy more
than Canadians do. Living with others during the long, cold winters gives you a
sense of humor. If you don't have one you just don't survive.
We have also been schooled (through
the CBC) by getting to see the best of American and British comedy programs for
decades. We are in a unique position to judge what is funny and what is not. We
just KNOW funny. It's in our DNA.
We also make Heartland
which is a beautiful family drama about horses and the people who live with them
in Alberta. I am not ashamed to say I never miss an episode - no matter how
corny it can get.
I get to enjoy all
the best things about American culture without actually having to BE an
American. It's sad to see how dysfunctional the American system of government is. One side doing all they can to keep the other side from achieving anything for the American people. Working for the people should be the Republican's only concern. Instead they choose to act like bigoted asswipes. Good luck ever getting elected again.
Say what you want about our Parliamentary style of government but shit gets done. Within 12 hours of the huge floods that hit my province last week, the military was mobilized to help. How long did it take New Orleans to get it's shit together after Hurricane Katrina?
I live in a country that worships a violent sporting event that takes place on
ice with participants armored as much to protect them from the hard ice and the
hard puck but especially to protect them from the even harder players. That is
also the sport where a handshake ends every championship series. No other sport
has that kind of tradition.
My air is safe to breath and the water from
my taps is clean. My bath water doesn't light on fire because of fracking being
done in my area. Any spills or environmental damage caused by the oil industry
is dealt with immediately and effectively.
When my father was dying of cancer we never felt that his hospital stays and
special needs would bankrupt the family. As a citizen and a veteran, all those
things were paid for and taken care of just like they paid for his hearing aids.
As an artillery man, that kind of damage was predictable and it was easy for him
to get the treatment he needed despite having the pre-existing condition.
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Even after death, Veterans Affairs pays for our yard work and snow removal. It's a huge load off my fat ass. I like some chores but shovelling snow and moving the lawn isn't one of them. I am more a laundry, dishwasher, and vacuuming kind of guy.
I live in a neighborhood with large trees and near neighbors who know how to mind their business. There is no loud yelling or late night parties. Only the crows and the garbage truck wakes you up in the morning but that only happens once a week when my garbage is picked up without fail. I can even leave out recyclables and that big tub of stuff stays out of the landfill too. The city makes it easy for me to 'do my part'.
Happy Canada Day Everyone!
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