Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness: May 2023

Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Fast X

Is this REALLY the tenth of these Fast and Furious movies that I have seen? Yes, I have watched every stupid second of the franchise. It's like eating cotton candy for supper.

Using old footage we are reminded of one of the team's greatest heists so that we could establish the fantastic Jason Mamoa as the main villain this time around. He is a psycho as pure as psychos get. He is not interested in killing Dom and Crew, he just wants to see them suffer for theft and the death of his father.

The theme again is family and just how much turmoil or villain can put them through. Yes we have explored this theme over and over and over again during the series. I hope for something fresh. Either way I HAVE to see how many tricks they have left up their sleeves.

Okay. Enough with the sentimentality. Stop building something sweet and nice when you know it's all about to get wrecked. Get to the carnage already. It's called dramatic tension. This trailer reveals some of the big set pieces so avoid it if you want to be amazed by modern adventure movie CGI and fight choreograpy. There should be a drinking game where you have to drink every time Vin Diesel says the word 'family'.

Old foe Charlize Theron shows up and proves once again that she is the baddest bitch on the block. If y ou don't believe me check out AT0MIC BLONDE.

Next half the team is on the most ridiculous heist in Rome that seems like it would never happen in reall life like it was portrayed on screen.It turns our team into the most wanted fugitives on the planet. Lets' see how they get out of this one. As always with a little help from their friends and the movie brings back favorites like John Cena and Jason Statham.

Soon our two protagonists find themselves returning to their roots with a street race in Rio. You have to hand it to the ceators. They really know how to edit and movie for maximum excitement. If you stop a half second to thing about the reality of all these shenanigans you will really miss out on the fun.

Jason Mamoa steals the film with his effete psychopathy and he looks like he is having a ball just chewing up the scenery while painting the toenails of guys he's just killed. How do you defeat a guy who is that smart and ruthless?

I love how they can travel all over the world is minutes when it may take weeks to get the tickets and get past customs. Those are the little suspensions of belief that are required to enjoy a good Fast and Furious movie. Let nothing stand in the way of the pure balloon juice going on here. The villain also have use of the GODS EYE device if you remember from a past instalment allows someone to find anyone on the planet in about the same time it takes to travel from Rio to Rome which is instantaneous.

Plus how do they always seem to find and drive the very hottest and faster of cars wherever they go? Even rural Portugal has a dealership? This kind of analysis is why I wish I had friends to watch these films with. It would be so much fun spotting these inconsistencies and goofing on them.

Okay, I just spotted the glitch, the thing that allows the story to end with our heroes coming out on top. It's always a blatant mistake that some other character makes that gives Dom his one chance at escape. Pretty easy to spot actually.

I love the way these guys and virtually destroy a bridge and the 20 or so cars on it and no one shows up to investigate or even make someone accountable. Maybe answer a question or two?

At 2:13 mintutes it's a long movie that spends way to much time between the spectular action to remind us that these guys are friends. Looks like someone is getting ready to die and it will be a major character.

The film ends on a cliffhanger which I find I didn't mind a bit. I mean where elese could they go. No way that Dom and his son surive the final challenge and who wants to see that?

It's a lot of fun best seen with friends.