But I Don't Have A Thing To Wear

60 Second Stories By Cal - 4 - Costco

I love going to Costco. All the food is huge and in huge packages. They have the best fresh buns and they especially have free food that sample ladies cook up at the front of every aisle.

Now there are two type of sample ladies - one kind are more than happy to give you all the samples you want. And schmooze with you patiently as they cook up another batch.

The other type act like it is THEIR food in THEIR kitchen and that you are some kind of rogue bear that has come into her house and raided her pantry. These are the ones that give you the stinkeye.

Frankly I have no sympathy for the ones that hate the fact that I am cleaning them out of mini-wieners or mini-pizzas or mini-grilled cheese sammiches. It's a contest of wills. They expect me to feel bad and walk away. I expect them to just get with the cooking of more snacks. After all, someone in my family paid good money for that COSTCO CARD and I am going to get full value for it.

One time I was there with my Mom and my Aunt and the sample lady was very ignorant. She told a young child to go away when the kid reached for an extra napkin. I figured that she needed to be taught a lesson.

I silently went up to her and waited for her to finish preparing another plate of snacks. I took one then reached for another. In her 'oh so superior voice' she proclaimed that there were many other people that wanted samples. I looked around me and there was no one else there. Then in my 'special needs' voice I exclaimed, "I like pizza!"

Immediately her faced turned red because she thought I was disabled. I took one pizza snack after the other and talked about how good they were and how my mom lets me have pizza on Friday - that Friday was pizza day and I liked pizza day - and did this in a voice loud enough to draw attention and make her feel worse.

I caught my Mom's eye and she just shook her head and snuck into another aisle. I finished my second plate and shook the lady's hand and thanked her for making today just like pizza day and I walked away.

As I was leaving I looked back and she was opening another box of mini-pizzas and leaving the plate out so that the kids gathered around her could have all they wanted.

It felt good.


Thanks to cheeseboy who inspired this post with his graph.

http://theblogocheese.blogspot.com/

Go Go Style

Meox Mix

Just Shut Up And Eat Your Lunch, Boy

What All The Hottest Redheads Are Watching

Thanks Jeremy. You rock.

Unidentified?

"An unidentified purple octopus (pictured) is one of 11 potentially new species found this month during a deep-sea expedition off Canada’s Atlantic coast, scientists say."

Don't you know who this is? This is Octopus P. Bastard. I hate the way they just play up the cute for stupid humans. New species? Or just a cephalopod shut-in that was just found? I hate them. Thank you SamuraiFrog for posting this on Tumblr for me.

It's Realy Only Ever About Redheads With Red Leather Boots Waiting For Me To Drive By

Masks For The Cave Of Cool Tickle Trunk

I am a huge fan of carnival masks and these bat-inspired ones are extra cool.









http://www.etsy.com/people/Midnightzodiac

Cal's Cat For Caturday

Magnificent Milla

I so do love Milla. She just never stops being amazing. Evern since her turn as Joan of Arc and all the action films she has done since, she always delivers the goods for me. September and the new Resident Evil movie can't come quick enough. All those Milla/Alice clones sticking it to that stinkin' Umbrella Corporation which makes BP look like Disney (well maybe that is not a good analogy because Disney is pretty evil in it's own way). Good on ya girl. You keep doing that ass kicking that you do.

Cute Mugshot Of The Week

This girl is charged with theft and speeding through a school zone. That is how they getcha everytime - slow down around the kids. They are quick but not quick enough to get out of the way of a speeding car. Hit a kid and people will lose their minds. Parents are just funny that way.


Now if something terrible happens to this little cosplayer, well I just blame bad parenting. What, no little ghost costume around the house? Look at the expression on her face - that costume has made her crazy evil already.

Expendibles Trailer

I will see this movie regardless but I enjoyed this different take on movie advertising. Play to your audience and their male guilt over going to so many chick flicks with their girl.

DAMN CEPHALOPODS

SOMEONE DO SOMETHING AND SAVE THAT BABY!!!! I will go in and strangle that octopus while someone else rescues the baby - then together we will charge those parents with abuse. Thanks Brother Sebastian for passing this on.

Loves Me Some J Bone Art

His stuff is wonderfully cartoony and I like how he makes Batman smile. It's the perfect style to illustrate the 'Cave of Cool' cartoon.







http://gobukan.blogspot.com/

WANT!

It's Really Only Ever About Bespectacled Redheads With Stolen Peacock Feathers In Their Hair

Treasure

The lust for it is just another way THEY GETCHA!!!!! When will you people learn?

Watch These And Then Try To Justify That Stupid Yogi Movie To Me

You don't mess with perfection.



And then there is this on. My favorite Yogi cartoon. The little baby cracks me up. "Gwabba gwabba gwabba...kitty kitty kitty kitty." That is just gold!

Ya'll Need To Check Out My Tumblr Before Interpol Shuts Me Down

I just checked out my entire Tumblr archive and seriously there is not a bum in the lot. My image collection is simply awesome. I 'poo pooed' the whole Tumblr experience but now I am a convert. You should be one too but in the meantime check out my collection by going HERE.

WHY?

For someone who has awesome memories of being able to walk home for lunch while in elementary school and enjoying tomato soup and grilled cheese sammiches while watching Yogi Bear cartoons - THIS is an abomination. An unforgivable abomination.

Why Must They Take Everything So LITERALLY!

The mascot is not REALLY the Devil. Is this REALLY the most terrible thing in your son's life, Pastor? Can you just get a grip here? No, probably not.


"The devil is at the center of a fight that seems to start every few years when someone new to Warner Robins realizes that the city's oldest high school, which has one of the most successful football programs in Georgia, rallies around a green-eyed, pitchfork-carrying demon.

The Warner Robins High School Demons.

A pastor at Kingdom Builders Church of Jesus Christ was shocked when he realized his own son could be among the hundreds of students shouting ‘Go Demons!' to cheer on the school's sports teams, but particularly in football, where the Demons have won four state championships over the years.

“It's the equivalent of us gathering into a church on Sunday morning and shouting ‘Go Jesus' or ‘Hallelujah Jesus,'" Donald Crosby, a Warner Robins resident for about a year, told Macon television station WMAZ.

The preacher has tried to move his ninth-grade son to a different school, one with a mascot more to the family's liking. In the meanwhile, he is collecting signatures on a petition to change the symbol."

http://www.ajc.com/news/preacher-wants-warner-robins-580434.html

Dad Of The Year Candidate

Another parent who loves their child so much that even when she is injured it is still all about him. Good on ya douchebag.

"Wira and her dad stopped for a quick picture before jumping in the car and heading to the hospital. Wira said she wasn't in pain at the moment, but she was still creeped out by the fish. Her arm needed 51 stitches, and doctors told her they had never treated a barracuda bite. Her stitches are out now, and she said her arm is healing."

Boilerplate

"JJ Abrams' production company may be called Bad Robot, but its latest project is the story of a very good robot indeed: Boilerplate, History's Mechanical Marvel. The Hollywood Reporter has news that Paul Guinan and Anita Bennett's alternate history tale about the world's first robot and his full "life" will be turned into a movie by Abrams' company for Paramount Pictures.

The book - published last year - was the culmination of ten years' worth of work on behalf of Guinan and Bennett, mixing illustration, photography and writing to place the fictional mechanical man into important events in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, as demonstrated in the book's trailer:"



This is one of my favorite books because it's created to look like a school textbook highlighting the 'career' of this imaginary robot. Look for it in your local library or get a copy for yourself if you are any kind of fan of the robots. This one is very cool and will make a terrific Victorian Age adventure film.

It's Really Only Ever About Cute Redheads With Their Own Televisions

The Meow Mix

I KNOW THIS GUY!

SO much happier to know he is a bandito and that he don't need no stinkin' badges!

I Want This Mini-House

I know Big Daddy is a 'husky' fellow but I would love this small house. All I would need is a truck to pull it and I could travel around North America and visit all my ladies - okay two ladies - and have a sweet trailer to sleep in. I love all the way that he makes use use of his lack of area and works with it. The attic bed is really cool.

60 Second Stories - 4 - The X-Files Movie

The year that the 'X-Files' movie came out I was given an almost expired book of free movie passes to our local theatre. I decided to use them for matinees while I had the summer off and could enjoy a few hours in a nice air conditioned theatre with snack foods.

One of the movies I choose was the X-Files movie. Hey, it was free. When I got there it seemed like I was the only person who wanted to see it - even at no cost. It turned out that when the light went down that I was the ONLY person in the theatre.

As the trailers were running I heard a rustle of people behind me. It was three ladies with three other people. Two of the others were in wheelchairs and the other person was walking very slowly. I determined quickly that this must have been three health care aids and their disabled clients. In my ignorance I wondered if this was the best movie to take them too. Wouldn't a cartoon feature had been better?

Anyways, the aids were talking the whole time through the movie so I moved up about ten or so rows out of earshot. I was into the movie when I heard something behind me. The client who WAS NOT in a wheelchair was up and mobile. He was making slow deliberate steps down the aisle. Each step he made was accompanied by a loud, "AHHHH".

So it was step "AHHH" step "AHHH' step "AHH" as he slowing made his way towards me. I just hoped he would pass me buy, go to the bottom and make his way back up.

However, when he reached me he stopped. I tried to avoid looking at him but I had to. Our eyes met and for a second there was silence. Then he SCREAMED, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH" and I SCREAMED, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" back.

He froze, the heath aids froze, I froze. Suddenly he turned and practically ran back to his seat at the back of the theatre while yelling 'AHHH' 'AHHHH' 'AHHH' with every quick step.

Then the two wheelchair people burst into laughter, the aids burst into laughter and I did too.

Then we finished the movie and I left. As I passed the health aids, one of them said, "Thank You, he always does that and you were the first one to shut him up long enough so that we all could enjoy a movie.

I wonder if my technique became SOP for the care and handling of the mentally disabled.

There Be GOLD In Dem Dere Hills

Good on ya girl.