2012 Doomsday

I have a problem. With every big budget movie that comes out you can expect a direct-to-video cheapie on the same subject with lower quality CGI, D list actors and direction by the low cost Mexican equivalent to who made the big feature. 2012 Doomsday maintains that glorious tradition and I just can't walk away so that when I see the John Cusack feature out this month, with its spectacular scenes of CGI destruction, I can tell anyone that "It could have been worse" and know what I am talking about. Besides, I never miss an Ami Dolenz movie. I wonder if she is related to Mickey.

OH NO, I just downloaded the DVD cover and they called it a 'modern Christian epic'. I so hope I don't get all sarcastic and snarky describing what I see. Great. 3 years of idiots trying to fill their pockets and pews by scaring people. Hopefully when the world DOESN'T end they will turn on these profits and start lighting fire to their temples.

I am sure that finding a gold crucifix in an ancient Mayan temple was just like it really happened. Good thing the volcano buried the temple so we couldn't learn anything else. Maybe Noah left the Ark there with his dinosaur saddle.

At least in this film 'Doomsday' comes in a little more than a day. No time to convert and actually 'mean' it. That'll show all you heathens, gay lovers and pet fornicators. That's what you get for not believing in MY flying spaghetti monster.

Oh sweet Jeebus I am gonna suffer through this. Its not SciFy channel. Its bible channel and they are laying it on THICK with a mop and not a brush. I may have to add this to my 'started but didn't finish' movie list. From 2 to 3 (the first and only two being 'Space Balls' and 'Maximum Overdrive') Oh please explode something quick...CGI me a massive tidal wave, something. This is like when they tried to fool me with those 'bible Archie' comics.

Oh don't tell me we can ONLY save the world by returning the found Jeebus cross back to an ancient Mayan temple? Even George Lucas wouldn't write something this hackney.