The Airing of the Grievances - 10

Maybe its the reduced sugar and caffeine in my diet but I am just annoyed by everything these days. Like that fly I am ready to just chuck it all and hitchhike to Poopville.

1. Only in California could the arrest of the Doctor who gave Michael Jackson the fatal drug that is believed to have killed him turn into a freakshow. I hear the new talk about how the 'parties' couldn't 'agree' on how the arrest would go down.

So now both sides are taking a step back to 're-think' the whole situation. Are you freakin' kidding me? Since when does a suspect have such rights? He is not even a celebrity. Snookie on the 'Jersey Shore' is more of a celebrity and she is a cockroach. I think someone at the police station was waiting for his pants to come back from the cleaners so he could look nice during the 'perp walk'.

I could see allowing a Charlie Sheen to turn himself in after climbing down that gully he crashed his car in. That is only fair. After all I hear he had two young hoes with him. Give the guy a break, that is a lot of pressure. It's a sad day when a killer doctor is equal to a sitcom actor/trainwreck anyways.

2. If I hear on the radio that the next '60 seconds' will 'change my life forever' I will take my life by driving the car into alot of other lives. The same goes for movies claiming to be the 'experience of a lifetime'. Bullshit advertising strategies that were stale in the time 'Mad Men' is set only make me hate your product and hate you. Approach the bear with caution.

3. Why the Democrats can't get their shit together should forever relegate them to the back benches. They don't deserve to lead. Obama is lucky he is getting one term the way he is playing it. People get the government they deserve. The Right may be evil bastards afraid of change but they sure have a successful strategy for selling their message.

4. The 'so-called' tea party movement can actually present themselves as arbiters of change while giving their gullible members the screwgie for $500 dollars plus an additional $300 to hear Sarah Palin's balloon juice at their weekend convention. I get those Tex Avery eyes and that 'boing boing' sound effect everytime I see them rubes get fleeced, and they happily do it to themselves. And Barack is the guy you need to be worried about.

5. Tiger Woods is such a big baby. One little scandal and he runs away for 'rehab'. Have some balls. Embrace you're crazy life and put some effort into your downfall will ya? At least a Charlie Sheen is working the crazy every damn day. You don't see him running away and hiding. He is driving that career right into the ravine and taking two bitches with him. Go big or go home I say. The greater the fuck up the greater the forgiveness. You let us down Tiger. How can we love you if you don't give us a chance to hate you first. Remember when a black man could 'do' gangsta? Obama is the same way. Pee Wee Herman is more gangsta than the two of them put together.

6. That whole 'don't ask don't tell' issue makes too many old men crazy. They are obsessed with the thought of gay soldiers showering with straight soldiers. It's their fantasy. They want to watch/participate so badly they can barely stand it. And because of the fear that someone will discover that they have those feelings they are willing to deny rights that they would never allow to be taken away from themselves. The more they protest the deeper in the closet they are. Oh and while I am on the subject - fuck you John McCain - go blow on your soup Grampy Hypocrite.

7. Those poor viewers who invested years in 'Lost' are going to get so screwed at the finale later this year that it will be the disappointment heard 'round the world. It will be worse than 'X-Files', 'Seinfeld', 'Friends' and the 'Sopranos' put together. I saw it from the start and wisely stayed away. I feel sorry for you guys. It will never be as good as you were promised. How can it be?