Hype

Crystal Coast Gardener did a post today about HYPE and I decided that my comment on her site was so good that I had to repost it here. Nothing wrong with that people. Just spreading the awesome to as many places as I can to entertain as many people as I can. So, in actuality it's my gift to you. (Just go with it ya goobers)

I am totally consistent in my attitudes when it comes to hype. I hate anyone telling me that I have to see something or read something or listen to something. Nine times out of ten their recommendations are correct and I may get around to them eventually but initially I just want to run screaming in the other direction.

For example:

I have never seen 'E.T.' nor will I ever see it. If they show it on a plane I will have to take a parachute and jump.

I almost never saw 'Titanic' but the boat was sinking on TV so I tuned in and I have to admit I liked watching the boat go down. DeCaprio dying was just a bonus. These were the days when I hated him. He has since grown to become one of my very favorite actors. 'Blood Diamond' turned it all around for me.

I will never read or see anything connected to the 'Twilight' franchise. It's just so stupid and the lead actors have ZERO charisma. Samurai Frog did a chapter by chapter analysis once and he convinced me that those books would just enrage me.

I got to Harry Potter even before the hype began so happily I could enjoy that franchise fully.

I know Justin Beiber is on borrowed time. His fans will outgrow him soon enough and he is so light weight that he will have nothing to offer them when he gets older. Remember Lief Garret? NKOTB? Menudo? Flashes in the pan.

I waited until the last season of 'LOST' to watch all the previous years in one sitting. I suppose watching it week to week for years made it great but the way I saw it made me think that I could have trimmed a third of the fat away and had a much better story.

I did the same thing with 'The Wire' and 'The Shield' and they are so much better because I waited until they went off the air to enjoy them. I am beginning to hate season ending cliffhangers that make me wait forever for the season to begin.

I loved 'The Walking Dead' comic books when they seem like my own little secret and something that nobody had read. It just hurt to have to wait a week to see the next episode. It's killing me right now to have to wait until OCTOBER for season two to begin.

I resisted getting into 'Firefly' and 'Dr Who' but now I shamefully admit that the hype was real and those are fantastic shows. I have the last five seasons of 'Dr. Who' to go through and I can watch as many episode at one time that I want. Again - no waiting around for new material to come out.

And now I am getting totally into the spectacle that is the Royal Wedding but not for the reasons you would think. This is all hype. This is beyond hype. It is a moment in human history that the world will be tuning in to see. So sequels, not second episodes. Just a once in a century event.

I am sure that people are working overtime to insure that nothing goes wrong. This is of global interest after all. Spectacles like these are all that the Royals have to justify their existence so they better do it up right.

Personally I am hoping for a trainwreck. I would like to see these two sweet kids elope to Vegas or something. If that happened they would be the world's most wanted fugitives. Now there is something I would follow. Hard to hide from the planet when you are wearing a crown and a tiara.

Maybe Kate will have second thoughts and say "NO" when she is asked if she takes William Hair Lose as her husband. After all her life will never be the same, will it? Already she is a smoking chimney and everything is 11 days away.

She has people doing everything for her so it's not like she is panicking because she has to sit for hours planning the reception or seating chart. In fact she gets to have the biggest princess fairy tale wedding without lifting a finger so one could be forgiven for not taking her complaining seriously.

Let's be honest here. She is just a brood mare who's job is to birth the next heir to the throne. After the wedding hype dies down, the baby hype begins. Now I know nothing about Kate but I hope she is stronger than Diana was and has an easier time adjusting to life as a royal.

So the hype is reaching a fever pitch. I could act all cool and aloof and say that it doesn't affect me but that would be a lie. I will be watching. I will have hot chicken wings and some vodka (staples at any royal wedding) and allow the whole blessed union wash over me. I owe it to my planet to give over a few hours of my life for that.