Thursday, May 5, 2011

Happy Cinco de Mayo, Bitches


I was so excited to debut my new Luchador mask today but when I put it on my head I discovered that is was too small for my obviously gigantic freak alien head.

Everyone always tell me that you can't order a Luchador mask over the Internet. You have to try it on in the store. In my arrogance I defied that rule and am now paying the price for my hubris. But it's not like my part of the tundra is overflowing with stores that carry this item.

It has taken me years to see one that I liked. You don't make your masked wrestler look on a whim. It's a serious life choice damn it. I don't even want to take a picture of it because it's not the same. When you can't see out of the eye holes because your mask is a small and your head is a 5x, it's a very sobering and disturbing feeling.

All of this on Cinco de Mayo too. It's like the entire Universe (or at least the Mexican speaking parts) are against me today.

Watch this space in the next couple of days for a contest. The first prize will be this leather Luchador mask. Someone might as well enjoy it if I can't. Just know that if you have to have your hats or helmets custom made for you then you need not apply.


6 comments:

D.I. Felipe González said...

Only gringos and mexicans abroad celebrate cinco de mayo, Cal.
Where did you buy that mask? Which luchador is it supposed to be?
Yo can buy masks online, but you better find a professional mask seller if you want it to fit properly.

DrGoat said...

Cinco de Mayo is pretty much just an excuse to drink, eat, and party down here in Tucson. I like the eating part. I'll be at Taqueria de Juanitas stuffing my face with the some of the best chili rellanos in town.

Unknown said...

Happy Cinco my friend looking forward to seeing what the contest will be. : )

Belle said...

That really sucks, Kal. In my family we all have huge heads. Hats kind of perch on top of us. I attribute it to our enormous intellect. Your head must be large when you have a large brain.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I've got a big head too. Only the best people do. Sorry to hear about the mask, though. Very disappointing.

Sarah said...

I won't be able to particpate in the contest either, or at least will have to donate the mask if I win, being from a freakishly huge-headed family myself.

When my sister was born they thought she had swelling on the brain until my mom made them measure her head & her mom's head and then they realized that's just how they make 'em in my family.

Belle & Debra got it right--big heads are to hold big brains :)