Thank You From The National Banana Association.

Your ad is both horrific and horrific. I never want to see bananas used in such a fashion ever again. Thank you for what I CAN NO NEVER UNSEE! It's only goddamn day 3 of this month and I am already afraid of all that is coming up this month.

I went out today to get my socket checked. The socket were the tooth was extracted a few weeks ago. It was doing okay though slowly. There was a loss of some clotting because I kept putting gauze around it thus keeping the clot from forming properly.

But I didn't need a plug and got a cool washer syringe thingie for the food that will get trapped in the hole. Oh what should be first to eat that I couldn't eat before?

I can't count lunch because I didn't take a picture of the AWESOME hot dog that I got at 7-11 for 4 dollars. Free toppings of my choosing and cheese and chili. The shit was a lunch and 3/4. But it don't count. No evidence it even existed except this container.


Okay so I just came back from the Dentist. Usually this place's waiting room is sedate. You could sleep there. However, today there were no free chairs.

There was an immigrant family talking loud to each other in their home language.

There was a hip ex or current stoner cool mom with her oldest boy and her three youngest kids under six at the dentist.

She looked rocker and hard but yoga strong like a jungle cat. She is curled up on the chair right across from me. I am at the end of a circular waiting room - nearest the entry to the kid's place with the saloon doors and cartoons and toys.

So biker mom is pretty laid back but the two little kids not getting work done are bugging her. It's very noisy from the immigrants and the ladies taking phone calls and having to talk louder. Then both TVs were loud and on different channels. I thought I was going to snap.

So the two little kids aren't listening to their mother and they are right beside me. Imagine how I look as I lean over to them and tell them to listen to their mom and calm down. They had lots they can do in the game room. The little girl who was about 6 stood right up to me, puffed her chest and told me she didn't have to listen to anything I said.

I looked at her for a second. Sat back and said,

"Really? I'm Santa Clause you goober. Good luck getting anything nice this year...JORDAN.

(of course I had heard her mother call her name but she didn't put two and two together).

Stopped her dead in her tracks. I think I heard her littler brother's entire body tense and freeze. Then to push my luck I leaned up and said,

"You don't believe me? Just ask Boomer the Reindeer why he isn't pulling my sleigh anymore."

I thought the mother and the older brother were going to piss themselves as they hid their laughter behind the cell phone. Even the teenage Muslim girl with head scarf laughed at the whole scene.

Then the angel of hygienists, Alison, called me in and saved me from the crazy. I was actually happy to get out of that waiting area of the damned.

So I left with my syringe that allows me to wash the food out of my tooth socket and an appreciation that I still got it.

"SAN DEMUS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!"