My cloths have been feeling too large on me and I have had to catch the waistband of my pj pants more than a few times in the past week. If I hadn't then all the people in the neighborhood would have gotten a full view of my shame. I guess the rounder parts of me just shifted to other parts of me and invited a few more of their fat cell buddies to the party.
I had spent the last month watching everything that I ate while resisting the lure of all the foods that got me into this mess in the first place. I walked most everyday. I lifted weights and tried to push myself into painful yoga positions. I thought I was doing everything right. GAH!
I think you can see from the fact that I posted a CATHY cartoon - something definitely NOT cool, that I am going to be sad all day long. The SAD kind of sad combined with the PATHETIC kind of sad. Oh well. I can console myself knowing that I have an appointment this afternoon to learn how to use the appliance that will tell me if I have SLEEP APNEA or not. I suspect with my broad expansive girth that I probably do. It might explain why I don't get a lot of restful sleep.
Is it wrong for me to be fascinated with this whole life changing process despite the fact that I am the damaged creature at the center of the experiment? My Dad would always tell me that I never did anything half way. If I was committed to something I either failed or succeeded in spectacular fashion. I was just so hoping to be spectacular today.
Speaking of something I do well - I got a nice compliment from my nurse this morning about my blog. I didn't expect her to check it out and at first I was a bit frightened that I had revealed too much about myself. But then I just soaked in the praise like the huge dry sponge that I am. I may be a total failure as a skinny man but as a blogger I got my shit together.
So two more weeks to see if I can turn the numbers around. I will have to become even more of a food Nazi with myself and resist, resist, resist. It's all about fine tuning this engine so that I don't die prematurely.
After all, I have so many other things to complain about and many more hillbilly bigots to offend.
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8 comments:
Just keep at it, Cal!
A site I have been using, that is good to keep things in a visual form, is myfitnesspal.com
Helps to keep my mind on what I am doing!
Thanks for that. I needed something to keep track of my bad eating and educate me on what I am ACTUALLY eating.
Use it! Keep it up in your browser all day. Put all you eat into it - be honest - and also use the exercise tab. Be honest and see how you are really doing and where you need to work!
Don't get discouraged, Cal, 10 pounds is just a bump in the road. You can do it!
friend me there csmith2884 I use it everyday it helps
Don't let a minor setback derail you--you've still done great since you started the good fight! I think about you often and share your stories with a friend of mine that was recently diagnosed with Type II diabetes :)
Well, I am really sorry you are pathetically sad and you gained 10 lbs, but you have done such a good job this year. You got that diabetes under control I think you said, and that is fantastic. I know you will keep trying and that's all we can do. I love the fact the nurse knew your blog! Very nice.
Don't get too freaked out. Weight loss is like that. I have had many times when I felt great and slimmer and then discovered that the numbers didn't reflect that.
It's a process. Embrace the process and the results will come.
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