My Vacations With Vladimir - What's With All This Pussy Rioting I Have Been Hearing About?

I know that to many of you I am a Vladimir Putin apologist. At this time I admit that fully and freely. I also remind all of you just what happens to that part of the world when a weak leader is in charge. Items like nuclear missiles have a habit of leaving the country in the back of some beat-up cargo van.

You want someone ruthless at the top of the Russian government. It's all people in that part of the world will respect. It is better for the people to hate and fear a leader rather than love him. Machiavelli understood that when he wrote THE PRINCE over 500 years ago. Vladimir Putin understands this. Cal understands this. A few angry girls in ski masks, however, do not.

A delightfully named punk rock group - Pussy Riot - were found guilty of hooliganism for their playing of a protest song against the policies of President Putin in one of the nations Cathedrals.

This social protest group used a stunt to bring attention to their cause. Unfortunately they were under the mistaken impression that they had something approaching free speech rights in modern day Russia. This week they were sentenced to 2 years in prison which was the price that Vladimir Putin demanded for his bruised pride.

Russian takes its religion seriously and there has always been an uncomfortable relationship between the Russian Orthodox Church and the political leadership. Both needed each other in order to maintain both institutions but it often looked like one devil making a deal with the other. It therefor was no doubt a slap in the face that the 'protest' took place in a house of worship. That fact alone didn't help the girls make any friends in the general public.

Change comes slowly to Russia and always has. Bratty protest behavior never helps to move things forward. And seriously - Is this the best you got, Mother Russia? These girls are pretty. Do they have to dress and look so GOOFY?? What is with the ski masks? You ladies actually make the Spice Girls look substantial.

The music is also beyond horrendous. How can I get behind your plight if you give me nothing in return to work with? I need something like '99 Luftballoons' that I can sing along with while others march to bring about your freedom. They have this thing called audio-tune that can fix those little problems in the harmonies. Would it kill them to do just a little 'post production' on your songs? Was I expecting the Beach Boys? No, but something a little better than some angry girl garage band from Ploughkeepsie is necessary to grab my attention.

You should get AT LEAST two years in the slammer for your bad music and poor fashion sense.

Apparently, a gang of angry females is something that will not be tolerated - even if they do have one of the greatest band names, EVER. A 'Pussy Riot' is the best kind of riot there is.

I love watching the Russian newscasters have to say the group's name in English because there is no Russian translation. I suppose they can translate 'vagina' and 'public disturbance' but let's be honest, saying PUSSY RIOT out loud is a fun thing to do. Try it a few times. See, I told you.

I wouldn't worry about these girls, however. Once they have spent a few more weeks in jail, they will be pardoned by a publicly forgiving Putin - a gesture that will be seen to many as magnanimous, especially from a man who knows where the bodies are buried because he was the ones who put them into the ground in the first place.