Well I Have Achieved That Life Milestone - It Got Me Out Of Being Accused Of Starting A Grass Fire

 

I was out with my cousin in the woods behind our house and I had to take a poop. I was only six but didn't quite make it home in time and crapped my pants. Then I ran into the house crying and had to have my mother clean me up and dispose of the shitty drawers and pants I had just befouled. That morning a major grass fire started on the base. Almost burned the whole place to the ground until they brought out the big fire fighting gear. I was seen running from the field so they blamed me. When the cops came to question me I was ready to take the blame instead of admitting that I shit my pants. My mother told me to tell them what really happened and they thought they were getting a confession. I cried out that I pooped my pants and that is why I was running home. When my mother showed the evidence in the garbage bag, I was cleared with many giggles from the Military police. Seems my cousin started the fire but they could never pin it on him. So that is my confession.