R.I.P. Menahem Golan of Golan-Globus

I lived some of my best years at the beginning of the Age of Home Video. For some reasons it suddenly seemed like there was an explosion of crappy movies made purely to fill rental store shelves. Most were filmed in distant foreign locations depicting post apocalyptic wastelands and cast with actors whose names we have forgotten - thankfully.

Two of the greatest hucksters/producers of the time were Golan and Globus and their Cannon Group. These two make Masters of the Universe and for that they deserve your respect.

They didn't seem to have a formula except to take a high concept and a bankable name and from there create movie magic. They missed more than they hit but their misses are the most charming part of their filmography. They have made crap but crap they once believed was good....right up until the second they showed it to an audience. In honor of the death of Golan I post some of my favorite of their movies. Most I saw in the theatre if you can believe that. I was the 80s. We were crazy kids with money in our pockets and driver's licenses. We were bred to go to a 2 dollar Tuesday feature.



Go HERE to see the list of all their movies. It's freakin' unbelievable how many films they produced and how many were crappy but influential in their own way. They must have made money for the company to stay in business as long as it did. They made mad cash from video sales as well which they fully exploited. They are legendary for screwing actors out of their due.

Trust me, we would watch any kind of crap back in the days of the first cable movie channels. Just to watch films commercial free was great and most of the 'classics' hadn't been seen on TV in decades except on very rare occasions. We got to see these bad movies because ANY movie was needed just to fill a month worth of content. You could only repeat a single movie so many times. Videos were our crack before the internet replaced it as our new crack. Anyone with time to kill could consume video content like never before.

Who could forget Treasure of the Four Crowns staring that great international man of action - Tony Anthony (which makes his name Tony Tony). It was an early attempt at 3D that did not dazzle. Avatar this was not. This was one of the first movies that introduced me to the Golan and Globus formula - don't spend more money than you need to - ever. Cheaper is always better.



Stallone made many, many bad movies for these guys but this one was his stinkiest. I was actually in a theatre watching this when someone stood and cheered at the 'big moment'. My buddy asked her if it was her first time in the theatre. I laughed for 20 minutes after that.



In University film studies class I wrote an essay about how the US was trying to re-win the Vietnam War on film and I used these Missing in Action movies as my evidence - with Rambo and the others of their ilk, of course. I thought I was brilliant because I was the 'movie guy' but I got a 5 which is barely a pass. Stupid film studies class.



One of my favorite guilty pleasures. I could watch MOTU anytime it's on and like Lost in Space it exists in my permanent movie file. Just so much cool crappiness in one package. And who can ever doubt that Frank Langela showed up to work with his portrayal of Skeletor?



Mia Sara can do no wrong. She is as close to a real life fairy princess as I have ever seen in a movie. Tim Curry is awesome and Tom Cruise embarrasses me every time.



Indiana Jones without Harrison Ford or a good story. Most of the 'effects' look like they were made by some eight year olds with Play Dough and a video camera.



Jean Claude Van Damme had some real talent in his youth and was a skilled martial artist. This movie played all the time back in the day and we watched it over and over again. I still hurt when I think of him doing the splits.



Chuck Norris must have worked cheap and didn't ask too many questions because they went back to the Well of Chuck many, many times. Any script with an explosion or kick to the face probably went past Chuck's agent first.



Another example of a great concept competently executed. Then the Highlander franchise got all stupid on itself and abandoned what worked for it best. The TV series was decent and a solid homage to the film.



May the gods curse the day when these numnuts discovered cheap special effects. Hercules is so overproduced that it almost creates a new category of movie. It's so bad in so many ways but NO one could know that until they actually saw the final cut with all the effects (such as they are) added. That premiere must have been the most uncomfortable movie to watch in cinema history.



More classic Stallone who create the mold for the cop who breaks all the rules because only HE can stop the worst of the worst. They are the disease and he is the cure. On the floor of the theatre, that is my lunch.



One they did that actually worked and was funny as hell is Buckaroo Banzai and His Adventures Across the Eighth Dimension. It has become such a cult classic in spite of itself. It's brilliant and inspired. Too bad the sequel was never made and a great concept basically died on the vine aside from a few comic book issues. It's sad. Buckaroo is a great character and a great source for some real Gonzo storytelling. It would even work as an HBO series. They haven't really tried much comedy material and they could do some wicked cool, Doctor Who like adventures with Buckaroo and the Hong Kong Cavaliers. Jeff Goldblum needs a job. Bet he still has those furry chaps.

"John Big Booty, you are the weakest individual I know"



Then of course they took their most bizarre turn when they produced not only a sequel to their hit movie Breakin' but they singlehandedly created the greatest title in movie history - BREAKIN' 2 - ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!