Thursday, October 6, 2016

Words From My Soap Box


As Americans you can hit any black kid wearing a hoodie in the dark from 50 feet away but you can't shot a colorful asshole clown on your street. You is a strange people and I say that with peace and love. Asshole clowns in my town is the ONLY thing that would get me to buy a gun. I see the attraction now. It's a fear response that may or may not be rational. A tazer would do the same thing AND be funnier to see the clown wriggle on the ground but I am not getting that close to one of those freaks to use a tazer. But really people, not ONE clown has been killed by law enforcement since this plague began. You are slipping. Live up to the spirit of your second amendment and go get those mirth makers. No jury in the world would ever convict you because clowns are universally hated even by those who dress up as clowns themselves. Clowns are full of self loathing and therefor you are putting them out of their misery when you shoot one this Halloween season.

 
 
"Humans are built to recognize patterns from an early age, and a clown’s exaggerated human features set off a primal warning bell from within our “crocodile brains,” Dr. Schlozman said in an interview on Tuesday."
 
 
 
The interactive map above tracks over 100 clown sightings and threats across America, beginning in early August. This map will be updated as more clown activity happens.
 
The first American "creepy clown" sighting, by most accounts, ended up being for a movie. Gags, the Green Bay clown, was seen wandering around Wisconsin in early August, carrying a host of black balloons. People were a bit freaked out until a local man said that he was using Gags for a short film he was working on.
 
The intent, in other words, was benign.

But then, on August 20, an anonymous caller in Greenville, South Carolina, said that they'd seen clowns in the woods, and the next day someone else said they'd seen clowns in the woods flashing green lasers. Just as everything started to calm down, on August 29, it happened again: two children reported seeing clowns in Greenville.
 
And with that, clown hysteria began. Next came clown sightings in nearby North Carolina. And, then, sightings—and, increasingly, social media threats—up and down the Eastern Seaboard. By mid-September, the sightings and threats had moved west, to Middle America. And by late September and early October, they'd reached the West Coast. 
 
Few of the threats have amounted to much more than a scare, and even fewer have produced actual clowns. But in at least a handful of cases, living, breathing clowns have turned up.
 
 

4 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

They did a whole thing about this today on CBC One's "The Current." Real clowns are pissed off at these creepy clowns, apparently. What really needs to happen is a gang turf war between them, mafioso-style. Let the best clowns win.

DrGoat said...

You know, sometimes I wonder what the hell happened to a lot of the people down here. So glad I grew up and lived most of my life before insanity took over. Goes to show you what happens when generations of kids grow up with the total BS they are subjected to on a daily basis from birth. You got a country basically run by corporations whose only reason for existing is to sell people something. Don't expect good results. On another note, I guess the Pokemon Go thing has pretty much run its course, thank goodness. That didn't take long. On to the next asinine thing so someone can make a bunch of money. As far as the clowns go, what ever happened to Emmet Kelly? He was a nice clown.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Maybe we can round them all up and put them into the Thunderdome for a fight to the death.

Dr. Theda said...

We are sitting here "Laughing"... (Thank you, my Friend...)
We We live right at the NC/ SC State Line... this is funny...
... We do not have access to regular news... just found out about the Storm about to hit Florida