Great, Another Sport I Have To Follow

It's Just Funny Everytime You See It

It's No Critique On All The Other Fabulous Women On The Planet

But is Christina the most gorgeous woman on the planet at this precise moment?

And Don't Think You Are Getting Your Breadmaker Back Either

First of all they steal your ricemaker and when you dive down to retrieve it they make a big deal about holding onto it. This is why we can't ever have anything nice with octopus around.

Oh and on a side note, isn't that the most awesomely clear footage under the water that you have ever seen? Or is that what super HD looks like all the time? I can't watch my old stupid big screen anymore without such resolution. I can't. I won't and you are mean to make me.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Stacey Pilgrim - "So you really thought you had a future with this girl?"

Scott Pilgrim - "With jet packs."

There are some movies that are just meant to become touchstones for a generation of people. For some it's 'Grease' or 'Lost Boys' or 'Star Wars'. For this generation of kids born in the digital age, THIS is the movie for them.



I remember a time before videogames and cell phones but to many, they can't imagine ever NOT being online. I had enough trouble with one identity but kids today have to juggle a real life and a virtual life. A life they were born into and one they have the ability to create and change as easily as they can switch their avatars. You are only as limited as your creativity and your ability to fight the malais that comes with being a sullen teenager.


This movie is based on a series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley and tells the story of a boy (Michael Cera) who loves a girl (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and must fight her past evil exes to win her love. In that way it's a 'rights of passage' movie where each evil ex is an increasingly difficult obstacle that our hero has to defeat with his brains and his heart - just like a real-life gamer has to do if he wants to win the video game he is playing.


The style of filmmaking is surreal and takes you right into the fantasy world of Scott where he gains powers like treasures as he defeats each level of the video game that is his life. The tecnique really moves the story along and allows full use of CGI and complicated stunt work. It also allows the director to fill the film with all kinds of dense character development and plot details that you usually only find in the pages of a graphic novel.


For this reason the movie will be enjoyable upon repeat viewings as you discover all the little easter eggs spread throughout.

In the end it might just be a boy meets girl story but its such a fresh and original concept with such likable characters that you care and root for that you will wish that like Scott, you had someone like Ramona to fight for.

I know I did.

I Miss This Comic - Batman Adventures

Drawn by Bruce Timm, it had the best version of Batgirl from the animated series of the same name. I would love to see 'Batgirl - Year One' drawn in this style. I know DC has the feature film in their pipeline but it can't come too soon for me.

Meow Mix

Lest Ye Be Judged

What the hell is he bitching about? That is not a real police uniform or a regulation haircut. That looks like one of those fake outfits that male strippers wear to show up to bachelorette parties. Don't ask me how I know. I just do.

That's What You Get!

It's okay to be pissed off that you just lost your job. It's might also be okay to yeal and scream...but if you lose your shit and make other's fearful for their safety...well you will see what you get.

The Bat Is Back

In this week's comic solicitations there are several new images of the look of Batman after Bruce Wayne 'returns' to modern times. Personally I have hated the whole 'trapped in the past' storyline only because I hate the written Grant Morrison. He writes half a comic book and leaves the other half (the half that makes sense) in his head. It is very frustrating reading anything he rights and it all seems like a big giant laugh he is having at us poor comic loving slobs.


Frankly I could have done with Bruce Wayne coming back at all. The new Batman (Dick Grayson - the original Robin) has been doing just fine and I like the fact that Bruce's son, Damien is the new Robin. But DC can't have one of it's icons just sitting around, not making money, so it appears there will be 2 Batmen (and possibly many more all around the world) for the foreseeable future.


The first two pictures are some great upcoming covers. I actually like the white Batman very much. He would just glow in the dark and scare the crap out of criminals like a Bat Ghost. The last three are three different artist's take on the new 'tweaked' costume.

The Walking Dead

For several years I have enjoyed the work of Robert Kirkman and his excellent black and white comic book, "The Walking Dead" which tells the story of several survivors of the zombie holocaust who band together for safety as they travel the country looking for a place that is safe from not only the zombies but the humans who just like them are trying to survive. If you know the stories you know how gripping the trip has been for our merry little band of campers. AMC - one of the best cable outlets for drama out there - have bought the rights and this fall the series begins. It can be a grim tale of survival with few moments of joy but if they stick to the quality of shows like 'Breaking Bad' and 'Mad Men' you will not want to miss this show. Check out the trailer and decide for yourself.

Cool Globes

Sands Of Arrakis?

"Explanation: Why do some sand dunes on Titan appear backwards? Central Titan, it turns out, is covered by sand, some of which appears strange. Images from the Cassini spacecraft currently orbiting Saturn have uncovered long rows of huge sand dunes near Titan's equator that rise as high as 300 meters. Shadows indicate that most dune shapes are created by wind blowing from the west. The problem is, the typical wind at Titan's equator blows from the east. One recent hypothesis that might solve this grainy conundrum posits that the only winds strong enough to move sand and create dunes occur during rare equinoxes and blow strongly from the west. The above images show a radar swath of Titan's equatorial sand dunes at the top, while similar sand dunes that formed in Namibia on Earth at the bottom. Why central Titan is even covered by so much sand is still being investigated."

Awesome Mattias Adolfsson Art

This guy's stuff is pretty terrific. I love how this one could easily have been a 'Cave of Cool' header though not as great or personal as the one Becca did for me. I do like the clutter of objects in his work. Check out his site for more examples of his excellent penmanship.

http://mattiasa.blogspot.com/

The Cleaner

Pooh isn't screwing around. He only promised he would get rid of your problem, he didn't say it would be cheap or easy. You said you didn't want to know how the problem went away and you can't come later and complain to the bear that you didn't like the way he 'handled' you little situation. Christopher Robin is such a punk bitch anyways. He's keeps talking shit and he's gonna get what is coming to any punks who talk to much.

An Idiot Abroad

"TV Promo of the Day: First look sneak peek trailer for Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s An Idiot Abroad — a documentary series featuring beloved round-headed buffoon Karl Pilkington traveling around the world and hating every minute of it."

There is something purely genius about the interaction between these three that is always hysterically funny to me. If you haven't seen 'The Ricky Gervais' show on HBO or listen to the brilliant podcasts these three have created by just talking around a table then you have been missing out. Karl Pilkington is a one of a kind personality in the way that Harvey Peckar was. I promise you haven't met strange until you have met Karl.

I HATE HATE HATE THESE GUYS

Of all the shows made for children in the history of TV, the stupidest and laziest show was 'The Banana Splits'.

What were they suppose to be anyways? Theme park mascots running crazy when the part was closed? 70s pop group? Dipshits? I vote the third one.

They were never funny or entertaining in the least. Even as a bored kid I would watch anything but them but my little sister liked them so they were on our TV most everyday. Thanks for the motivation to take up other hobbies than watching TV, Mom.

They were not even worth my wasted time and since their mouths never moved they could only express two emotions - surprise when they lifted both arms to open palms and shock when they grabbed their faces. Oh I suppose they could also hold their stomach from laughing too hard if they WERE EVER FUNNY!

I guess one was suppose to be black from his jive talk and cool shades and one was mute because the writers couldn't think of enough for 4 stupid puppets to say. I could fogive the actions of the mascots if they were the only part of an already bad show but they were just the bumpers between some of the worse cartoons and live action serials every produced. Remember that stupid island with the dumb pirates and wild natives always running around? 'Danger Island' was the name I think and it starred a young Jan Michael Vincent. Yipes!

Their cartoons made Woody Woodpecker seem like Mr Peabody and Sherman.

Look how much I ranted just seeing this picture show up on Tumblr. I don't hate many things with the passion or purity of my hatred for the cephalopod but these idiots come damn close.

I can respect the octopus for what a remarkably outworldly and strangely beautiful creature that it is. I can respect the effort that the octopus puts into being as asshole 24/7.

With these felt bags, however, it's just the lack of effort, the tackiness, the lame and unfunniness of it all. No redeeming human value whatsoever.

Fuck the Banana Splits and if you like them don't try to defend yourself - just let it remain something unspoken between us. I could not respect you anymore if you liked that show and I don't want to look at you with pity in my eyes from this day forward. However, if, like me, you despise them, then feel free to pile on. Let the bashing begin.

One Of Our Submarines Is Missing

Thomas Dolby One of Our Submarines
Uploaded by Celtiemama. - See the latest featured music videos.

The previous post I made combined with what TS has got going over the Non-Review got me remembering this song. TS asked who would be my choice of island castaway - the choices were Mitch Peleggi, Ron Popeil and Thomas Dolby - an ecclectic group.

I went with Thomas Dolby because I could never eat Mitch and would eat Ron (thus leaving me alone with my madness). Besides, this song by Dolby from his awesome album (The Golden Age of Wireless) from the golden age of videos was kinda a soundtrack for me and my friends when we would sit around during high school classes and make up stories that became the genesis of the 'Cave of Cool' and all the mythos contained within.

Plus the term 'One of our submarine's is missing' was our way of saying that someone just said something incredibly stupid or obvious.

All that explanation to explain why I posted a song? See how scary the workings of my mind can be?

Those Were Good Times

I like to think back to those early days in the 'Cave of Cool' that this cover represents (thanks to Brother May).

All those wacky inventions the cephalopods created just to mess with my day. And those outfits I wore. How did I ever choose green and orange as our color palette? Those colors just makes me look chunky.

Now everything is paperwork and plans within plans within plans. Back then you just took a sharp stick and went for a swim, stabbed some bulb heads and came back for grilled cheese sammiches and a nap.

Now it's all "You killed my father - vendetta, VENDETTA". It's so annoying, get over it. You don't even know who you father is, none of you do, it's the way you procreate. Pick up a book once in awhile and learn about octopus procreation. You are NOT mammals so if you are looking for some 'mommy and me time' you aren't going to find it anywhere to fill that hole in your soul. That is NOT my fault or my issue.

Just always drama with the squids. I swear, I would fight them less if they didn't bitch so much about EVERYTHING. It's not PERSONAL! I hate you all equally. Jeeez. Get a grip and maybe some therapy. See how they always turn a nice memory into something upsetting? It's them right? It can't be me.

These Are Beautiful Statues By Kotobukiya

CCC of C Trailer Of The Week - Week One - Starcrash

I remember this movie only because it had the beloved Caroline Munroe in it and every laser blast effect made that 'pew pew pew' noise like we did around the house. They call them cult films for a reason - no sane mind could come up with this crap and have it taken seriously, but, there it is for all to see.



So this is my challenge to all of you who love movies, especially bad ones. Each week I will post a trailer from something so wonderfully craptastic that it actually caused our brains damage from having sat through it. Your job is to match mine with something containing an actor we all would know (so no sneaking in some Turkish version of Star Wars) that basically tells you everything you need to know just by the trailers. Obviously the more ridiculous the story the better. I may even make up an award for this one. Leave me notice in the comment section to go look at your entry. Hopefully with the knowledge we all have of the back end of Hollywood we will have some good competition. Additional points given for kitsch factor as always.

Things That Make My Head Explode

It seems that Paramount Pictures is co-producing a movie on the 'life' of Justin Bieber. Of course it's in 3-D. This news comes on the heels of the announcement that Bieber will also be coming out with his 'autobiography' around the same time.

Will someone please help me understand this. Don't you need to HAVE a life to make a movie and a book ABOUT your life? It's getting a bit ridiculous here.

Unless you plan to pad these projects with stories of the time he fought for freedom for the peasants of Central America then there won't be much to say. Maybe they will tell the story of the time he got hit in the head with a water bottle and a car door from the bottle and door's perspective.

Add at least two chapters having his hair talk about what it's like to live on his head and what hairspray he prefers and maybe you got 50 pages and ten minutes of footage.

I got two words for this punk - Lief Garret. He thought he was all that too at one time and now he is in the same closet with those 'New Kids On The Block' action figures. Both seemed like good ideas at the time.

Oh lord when will the backlash come and remove this kid and replace him with someone else, anyone else. I have said this before - you can't tell me that someone out on this planet there is some kid that can do what this Bieber kid does but who is much much less entitled and annoying and lesbian looking? One bullet or a FROZEN bottle of water (this time) and all our problems will be solved. Sorry, someone had to say it.

Meow Mix

60 Second Stories By Cal - Killdozer

There was a time around the late 70s that seemed to me to be the best times to watch made-for-tv movies. There were no videos so if you didn't see a movie the first time around you had to wait for it to show up on TV or at some theatre revival. But only the biggest movies like 'Gone With The Wind' or 'The Wizard of Oz' were set up for that kind of treatment.

Anything new or original was a big deal. Mini-series were very popular because it was like getting eight parts of a story all in one week.

My favorite of the trends were the killer animal and killer machine movies.

Usually with the animals it was some natural disaster that released them from the ground where they had just been waiting to kill us. Bugs that caught fire or snakes that could spit venom the length of a football field were popular. Sometimes just before the dam burst we would be inundated with rats and mice. The effects weren't the best but they got the idea across enough to freak the teen in me out.

Next came the killer vehicle craze. First is was the demonic car with the black windows that chased down all the locals at the county rodeo. Even bullets couldn't stop it as no less than six cops had to figure out. You would think when officer Bill got run over after putting six in the windshield that the other yokels would see that another plan was needed, but, you know, that WAS set in the deep south.

But for me the grandaddy of these movie was KILLDOZER. It had it all. Killer construction equipment that snuck up at you at less than 10 miles an hour. Hell it even had it's own comic book. I remember the hype this movie got for months and I sure wasn't going to miss my chance to talk about it Friday morning at school. After all I had my own black and white TV.

Later that week my first girlfriend Tara Crandall invited me over to watch it with her. She said her parents and siblings would be gone so we would have the house to ourselves. I remember thinking how great it was to not have to tell anyone to shut up during the good parts. Also, she had a color TV. Anything named KILLDOZER deserved the glory of color. What? I said I was a teenager, I never claimed to be a particularly aware one.

What I most remember about that evening was her taking most of the night trying to get me to sit on the couch with her. Why would I want to do that? That lazy-boy was the most comfortable and best seat in the house. I remember her spilling juice on that chair when I went to use the bathroom during the commercial and feeling disappointed now that I would have to get comfortable somewhere else.

She gave me every opening to kiss her and I remember waiting until the commercial to make my 'big move'. That way both her and I would be happy.(I wasn't that clueless and that girl sure knew how to wear a peasant blouse with bell bottom jeans - MEOW)

So I got to see my movie AND kiss a girl for the first time.

When her family got home her dad told her older brother to drive me home. On the way he asked me how the movie ended and I told him. He looked at me like a city fella looks at a country fella fresh from the turnip truck and said, "I guess Mom was right, we don't have to worry about you." Only years later did I figure out what he meant and he was right, I wouldn't be making out with his sister as long as some dump truck was going berserk. I had my priorities, you know?

Life Altering Concept Of The Day

Life-Altering Compact Camper of the Day: Based on the classic three-wheeled Piaggio Ape, Industrial designer Cornelius Comanns’s “Bufalino” camper appears slight at first glace, but its insides are spacious enough to hold a bed, two seating units, a “cooking zone,” a sink, a water tank, a refrigerator, several storage compartments, and other creature comforts typically found in larger RV’s.

Why do I have the desire to find something to live in that I can also park at every Walmart I encounter along the way? It's become this thing where I want to put everything I don't need into storage and find other things that can perform multiple functions like a Swiss army kitchen that has everything you need in a box that hangs from your hip. I think my genes are sensing a coming apocalypse of something. I have always been intuitive that way. Like I always know that someone left the stove on or the toaster plugged in even before we leave the driveway.

Asian Carp Invasion

I am one of those people who doesn't enjoy fishing. I like being on the boat and I will bait the hook and put the pole in the water but once something bites, then it's no longer my responsibility. I would rather toss the fishing pole in the water than retrieve what is on the other end of the line. I hate things that come wriggling out of the water and suffer it's last gasps of life on the floor in front of me. I have always been that way.

I hate the ocean. I figure that if I ANNOUNCE that I am entering the water then anything within a meter of my body should know that to touch me is going to cause an tremendous freak out on my behalf. 7/10s of the Earth is water and you got to stand that close to me. FUCK OFF FISH!



So you can imagine my reaction when I saw this footage of the invasive Asian carp. If I was on the boat I would be going for the lever to make the boat go as fast as possible, preferably onto land. It's not funny or cute, it terrifying. I swear if one landed ON the boat, there would be some swinging of machete going on and I wouldn't be able to guarantee no collateral damage would occur. That is how much this footage freaks me out.

Now imagine the same movie only with OCTOPUS and now you know why I fight them. I fight what I fear and I fear flying cephalopods the most. Oh boy, it's going to be nightmare time tonight in the Cal's big boy bed. Gah!

Avengers Assemble!

Thanks to the fine folks over at Cultural Compulsive Disorder for reminding me that a new Avengers cartoons will be starting this fall. Catch the trailer for it before some bastards take it down. It has a terrific look and style to it and old school Nick Fury also! Check out the awesome Black Panther series on 'You Tube' to get yourself in the mood before the new cartoon starts.

"The Box"

Is this a new episode of the 'Simon's Cat' series because I have never seen it before. If you have seen it before enjoy it again. This guy really has a great comedic style and the animation never gets in the way of the jokes. Some big studio needs to hire this guy to make all kinds of these as bumpers between programs especially on a cartoon network.

Playing At The Alternate Universe Theatre Near You

These are alternate posters for movies that didn't but could have existed if everyone back then was out of their minds. I love the discussion of alternate casting choices and some of these are really far out there. Check the complete set here. I think the MATRIX re-imagining is my favorite.