I Could Have Been a SHUMKA Dancer!!!!

Monday September 22,2008 6:42 PM

Hope you are having a good week...please tell me you watch Dancing with the Stars...I need a snarky friend with no concern for the feelings of others to truly enjoy the show and Cory was the first one I thought of...that is actually a compliment...my mom lacks that venomous bile that my best Cory just DRIPS. Add to that that she is one of the funniest people I know and it sounds like a no brainer.

Cause truly there is nothing I personally hate more than male ballroom dancers who refuse to button more than one button on their shirts and who wear super stretchie polyester pants...now I could live with that visual as disturbing as that is but its the way they LIKE themselves so much which personally I find to be a real unattractive quality in a ballroom dancer. I mean we get it Johnny Jingle Hips...you are suave and oooooooze that oily latino charm but be a man and actually look at the professional female dancers (who are drop dead sexy) and stop hogging all the time in front of the mirror.

Of course any qualified medical professional would say that I am merely jealous of something I cannot do but I will have you know that I could have been a DANCER...I could have been a SHUMKA dancer (the ones with the red boots who jump high in Ukrainian folk dancing) but my parents deprived me of that opportunity. Now despite that missing chance I still am light and nimble on my feet like a ninja and since when am I not star enough to be on the show??? From the well of my bitterness I curse the ABC television network.