Friday, August 21, 2009

Chair Lift - Sweeeet


I saw a commercial today that made me laugh my ass off mostly because my lazy ass actually concidered the possibilities for a minute or two. After Mr Humpty had his great fall I was dreading making my way up and down the stairs. I even resisted the urge to get some frozen mini pizza out of the deep freeze last night just because the journey didn't seem worth the reward. Now you KNOW I had to do some serious re-evaluation of things when that thought crossed my mind. (You should know that I once killed a man who reached for the last package of frozen McCain pepperoni and mushroom mini pizzas at the grocery - okay, I didn't kill him but gave him and his kid a dirty look). Then I saw my solution. The chair lift that attaches to my stair case so I can ride up and down and down and up all day long. Hell the entertainment value alone would be worth the look from the guy installing it. Yeh, that same look you are giving me now. I hope I never get to the point like I am now where something like this would be needed to add to my quality of life. You don't know how much you appreciate your own grace and mobility when you temporarily lose it. I recommend you avoid falling after a certain age kids. Its never like they tell you in the brochures. Just like me to find a sitting solution to a problem. Those people on the commercial look like they were enjoying it so much though. And it only takes roughly fifteen minutes to get from the bottom of the stairs to the top. They would have to increase the speed or I would be out of that chair and pushing. Got no patience. But then where does it stop? Then I will get that sit down bathtub/shower combo and that is one step away from a TV and a microwave in the bathroom and I promised I would never go that route again. See, now my mind is going crazy. Why not put a photocopier in the seat so I can multitask like this girl? Okay, I will stop free associating now.

4 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Yeah, those do look pretty sweet, esp. when you're injured. Those souped up bathtubs you see advertised in TV look pretty sweet to me! Almost makes me look forward to getting old and decrepit.

themom said...

Falling at any age just about sucks...but at an older age (like me) it SUCKS BIGTIME!! I had back surgery in 1980 and all was great till Oct. '07. I was racing in the house to get something for my dying neighbor, stepped on the cat and went FLYING. I have been in excruciating pain ever since. I cannot have more surgery because of the bad heart - now I have to suffer. I guess the good 27 years will have to be accepted for what they were - and now....YUCK!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

It was the cat with me too. And does he appreciate the gesture by making me a grilled cheese? Sure he does but its got all this hair in it so really its a hollow gesture at best.

Anonymous said...

gremlins...