EMU Man Zapps Away

This is the job I want. Once the police or other safety officials spot an EMU or a larger Ostrich starting to roam through our cities or one that is disrupting highway traffic then I would get the call on my Mozart bust which would open up allowing me to access the cell phone contained within. Then once given the word I would get on my motorscooter and maneuver myself close enough to both snare and then tase or tase and then snare the wild beast. Then before they could thank me I would do a flourish with my cape and speed away - waiting for the call to come again. Of course I would have to work in a place where such Ostrich or Emu escapes were plentiful. Over time they would hear me coming and just lie down, knowing that a good tasing was in their future. VIVA EL EMU. (I am not living in Mississippi though. That is cracker country)

"FOREST, Miss., Sept. 22 (UPI) -- Authorities in Mississippi said they had to handcuff an emu and shock it with a Taser to remove the ostrich-like flightless bird from a roadway. Scott County sheriff's deputies said they initially received reports Friday of two emus on Interstate 20 and Highway 80, but they were unable to locate either of the animals until further calls Sunday placed one of the birds on the I-20 on-ramp in Forest, WBLT-TV, Jackson, Miss., reported Tuesday. Officer Kiley Culpepper said deputies had to use handcuffs and a Taser on the bird, which was weaving through traffic. It was taken to the Scott County Forest Coliseum while authorities seek its owner."