This show is so stupid. The book was stupid because it basically took most everything that is great about being a guy (farting, wearing Hawaiian shirts, liking sammiches) and turned it into an indictment of our total species.
On VH1 they only give the top 100. The freakin' book has 311 of them. GAH!
If you think I am choosing you over the cat you have lost your damn mind.
Yeh I know that women choose but you would think they didn't need to be so picky. We can't all be George Clooney. I know I haven't got much to offer but I work on my act daily, can make you laugh, know how to vacuum and prepare a nice meal. That isn't enough?
What the hell happened to picking me at my most pathetic and changing me into someone you could proudly take out in polite society. I thought you needed a project and I was it!!
Why not 100 things that makes a woman a bitch? Like buying this book and holding it against me. You with your fingerless gloves and hair extensions and total obsession with yourself. Your flip flops bother me too because I don't need to see those long ass toes of yours with webbing between.
And I am not shaving off my beard. It's beautiful. In the Taliban I would be their king just because of my awesome facial hair. Sure it gets me searched in airports but the biker chicks love it. LOVE IT!
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13 comments:
My toes are very short, it's always bothered me. I am not a Clooney fan.. Would never change anyone, it never works. I would worry if my man doesn't enjoy a nice fart here or there,, everyone should like sammiches,, it's just weird NOT too,, the Hawaiian shirt thing is optional though.
I would like to change you, but I can barely handle myself.
In sincerity, I did have to tell a male friend of mine that it was time to trim his nose hairs. Looked like he was always in the midst of snorting a line of spiders.
Pearl
p.s. I really like your new page or whatever it's called. Did you do that? Are you friends with the guy who did it?
I am willing to let some things go. Everything is negotiable. The only deal breaker is if she collects octopus figurines or has a secret love for them. NOT COOL.
Hair where it belongs is okay. Hair where it doesn't belong is not. I would hope someone would tell me about the nose and ear hair when it becomes a problem, Pearl. Just like I will tell them that the mustache they are growing is not a good look for a girl.
The new header was done by Becca. She is on my blog roll. I commissioned it from her along with a picture for my neice and nephew. I love her style and am collecting 'Cave of Cool' artwork to celbrate the 'brand' in my post 5000 post identity.
I've categorized myself as undateable in the past, but not for any of those listed reasons.
The verification word is mormon. Can't make that up.
LOL, Cal. This is very funny! If by changing you, you're referring to the 234 pairs of underwear for the world record, or to Depends for other issues, then that might explain you're being undateable. Otherwise, I don't think you fit the criteria.
(I just posted on 3 men who are undateable.)
xoRobyn
What's a date?
Robyn, you bring undateable men to yourself like flies to sugar. You are a true trooper and could have written this book yourself. I bet you can come up with 100 reasons why a guy is undateable right off the top of your head. I have to go read about them now. If I don't learn then I will never get better.
(oh and giving up my underwear records is a deal breaker)
Droll Megan, quite droll.
Everything has its place -- farting, Hawaiian shirts (so I'm told), sammiches -- it's just a simple case of figuring out where and when. A man can figure it out for himself but living with a woman helps speed up that process.
Not that it's easy. After almost 20 years together my wife still considers me a work-in-progress. When we first got together I had a big beard. She asked me to shave it off. She said I could grow it back right afterward but she said she couldn't be with a man if she didn't know what he really looked like. I thought that was fair, so I did. I've only recently grown it back, albiet smaller and I try to keep it neat.
Yeah, not a big fan of flip-flops in general, but I think women's toes are beautiful for the most part... long, short, it doesn't matter. they're all beautiful.
As for that Clooney guy... well apparently he's yummy. I guess I should just be thankful that his movies are good, because, for the sake of harmony in the home, I'm gonna be watching them anyway.
You sound like a scared lemur in a cage. Now I know why the caged bird sings. Sorry, you lucky bastard. Just struck me funny.
I started wearing Aloha Tiki shirts after I got married. I think that's the key. Besides, I'll be 60 next week, Surviving the 60s & 70s gives one a little latitude, doesn't it?
PS Don't shave anything you don't want to. It's yours. Fly it.
I know, Cal. I don't get it. (That's the problem!) I ONLY attract the undateables. I'd rather attract flies.
If you're not going to give up the underwear records, you really need to let go of expecting a woman to change you. I'm just sayin' - for your best interests and hers.
xoRobyn
Robin, if those pitches you get in the mail actually WORKED for you, I would be worried. You are doing God's work rejecting these losers so you don't have to take a lightning strike to set everything right.
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