Again With The Stupid Records

You all know how much I hate any kind of 'world record'. I find them so tedious and in the case of food records, a sinful waste of food in a world where many people are starving. I know I know. "Lighten Up Cal, these are fun." No, they are stupid.

What does a person get out of knowing that they spent four hours of their lives in concentration just to fold a length of toilet paper 13 times? How does this enrich the world we live in - a world where most every continent seems devastated by flooding, earthquakes, revolution and warfare? I guess all the prep school students got more enrichment out of this stunt than they would have volunteering at a food bank or a soup kitchen.

The teacher says in the the article that, "It's like Mount Everest" WTF??? No it's not. You know what is like Mount Everest? MOUNT EVEREST. That is something hard. Folding ass wipe in an air conditioned hallway is embarrassing.

I would hope the folded toilet paper got a place of honor in the school's trophy case. I hope that there isn't a toilet paper shortage because you know what cabinet I am breaking into first.

Seeing that pile of tissue should inspire generations of future kids to grow their fingernails long or swallow 22 swords. What is the goldfish eating record currently at? I know the record for wearing pairs of underwear is well into the mid 200s but that kid had to stop because his whole lower body went numb. It's just so stupid.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass., April 6 (UPI) -- Students at a Massachusetts prep school claim to have broken a world record by folding a 13,000-foot length of toilet paper in half 13 times. The 15 students from St. Mark's School in Southborough executed the feat Sunday in the so-called Infinite Corridor, an 825-foot hallway that connects many of the main buildings at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The 4-hour operation broke the record of 12 folds set in 2002. "It was hard, backbreaking work," math teacher James Tanton told The Boston Globe. "It's like Mount Everest. Of course we had to try." Tanton has been organizing attempts to break the record for five years. This year, he got MIT's origami club, OrigaMIT, to gain him the use of the corridor, where they would be free of wind interference. While the Guinness Book of Records does not keep track of paper folding, Tanton believes his class deserves a Wikipedia page at least. He said the class will try again next year with 24,000 feet of paper.

There is even a video. Good Lord shoot me now. All this and they don't even get into that stupid record book? I thought that was the whole point.