Because I have Inuit sweatshop workers stuffing red berets into boxes for shipping around the world. What the hell am I going to do with half a cave full of red berets if the bottom falls out of this whole enterprise? Damn those of you who convinced me that my future would belong to the beret. I also should have offered other colors because sometimes, apparently, women want their hat to 'go' with the rest of their outfit. How long has THAT been kept a secret from me? What else don't I know?
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