And Old School Meme About Me

1. What's your favorite candle scent?

Lavender but I like the cherry smell very much.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

 

Selena Gomez

 

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

 

George Clooney

 

4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?

 

Why aren't you cute for asking.

          

5. Do you know a hoarder?

 

I am one but I deny it.

6. Can you do a split?

 

Once

           

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

 

Six - the bike had a banana seat and those chopper handle bars. It was orange and black.

         

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

 

I don't SWIM in the ocean. Swimming is a leisurely pursuit. I swim in a pool, I swim in the bathtub. In a lake or an ocean I move with a purpose - to leave the water before something brushes up against my leg, violating my personal space.

 

9. How many countries have you been to?

 

More than 20 but in fairness I spent a lot of time in a part of the world where you could visit five countries in a day.

           

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

 

My father was a soldier of the Cold War for 32 years.

 

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

 

Logan but that's not after Wolverine but after Logan 5 (Michael York) in Logan's Run

           

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

 

Well after me of course but with a cool middle name like Flapjack.

 

13. What's the worst grade you got on a test?

 

Failed a French test very badly in Jr High and Miss Freesorger humiliated me in front of the whole class. I got out of my chair and walked for the door. She told me that if I left it would be OVER for me. I grabbed the door knob with one hand and punched the plaster wall with the other. Like in a cartoon the crack slowly worked it's way up to the ceiling as everyone in class oohed and awed. I just walked to the office after that and took a seat. I was none too co-operative for being humiliated but I did learn how to fix a crack in the plaster.

           

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

 

It depends on the time in my life but I really enjoyed the Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show for shear entertainment even with multiple views of their genius cartoons.

 

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

 

A pirate. I had years of collecting all the bits and pieces so I could look cool and be heavily armed at the same time. Being a good pirate is all about accessorizing.

           

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

 

Yes on the first two - not with a gun to my head for the third.

         

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

 

A Canadian accent which is no accent at all. We are the only ones that sound normal ya bunch of hillbillies.

 

18. Did your mother go to college?

 

No but she is an expert on many things including the care of Alzheimer's patients. My mother has people smarts and street smarts. Since my father died seven years ago she reads a book a week. Up until that time she had never finished a novel in her life.

          

19. Are your grandparents still married? Divorce in my family is extraordinarily rare. The lionesses in my family mate for life.

 

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

 

No but I have several years of Tae Kwon Do and Fencing under my belt. I also move like a jungle cat for my size - just fast enough to stay ahead of all the predators in the jungle. I have also held or used most weapons that can do damage to a cardboard box even though I HATE guns. No guns in Gotham I say.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

 He's the one that bangs that pushy pig, right?

          

22. What's the first amusement park you've been to?

 

It was some god awful enchanted forest in BC that was on our way to the hell that is Trail B.C. It was in the woods and had no rides and was creepy and quiet and I swear I saw a guy kill a hobo when I went to use the outhouse. My father bought me a great Indian tomahawk even though there were no native displays and we never talked about it ever again.

          

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

 

Only the language of love, baby.

 

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

 

GREY - do I look like a savage to you?

 

25. Is your father bald?

 

No but his father was and my mother's father was. I was doomed from the start which is okay because I never had a good hair day until I shaved my head.         

26. Do you know triplets?

 

Just your Momma and your two Aunties

 

 

 27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

 Leo or Ryan? How can you ever make me choose?
 

 28. Have you ever had Indian food?

 

When I worked in Yellowknife the school was often the site of community celebrations and ethnic weddings. I would work in the staff room and schmooze the people and usually scam a free plate of whatever they were serving. The Indian wedding had stuff that my colon still remembers. It was so many awesome flavors and textures that I could only eat it once a year I think. That food stuck to your ribs and lasted a full 48 hours.
 

29. What's the name of your favorite restaurant?

 

Wendy's - don't judge me Marge. If you are through with all your judging of me I will get back to my double cheeseburger and my shame.

 

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

Let's just say that I know from personal experience that you can't stuff unlimited bread sticks down your pants and expect to get out of there without being confronted by security.
 

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ's, etc.)?

 

KEEP YOUR CULT CARDS AWAY FROM ME!

          

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

 

Sue - My Dad was a fan of Johnny Cash

 

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

 

I called myself CJ for one summer of six week cadet camp. I was trying to re-invent myself. Now that punk was cool. He had cool friends who called themselves Brockman's Beatles after singing 'Yesterday' to their Sgt Louise Brockman in a full mess hall to avoid getting into trouble. She challenged us by saying that if we could talk in the chow line then we could sing in the chow line and we turned it around on her and everyone else. We just loved her - she was spunky and cute and took no shit from any of us - and we were working on the song for the stupid talent show anyways and she just upped our agenda. It was a very cool moment.

 

34. Who's your favorite person in the world?

 

It's a tie between my mother and my late father.

                                        

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

 

The Mountains

         

36. Can you whistle?

 

Out my butt like a real gentleman.

        

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

 

           

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

 

Depends if I come across roadkill or fresh garbage on my walk.

         

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

 

Just for the spins, the shakes and the hallucinations.         

 

40. What medical conditions do you have?

 I Got The Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu

          

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

 

Whenever they need me to get into the medical spaceship before being reduced and injected into a sick person's bloodstream...but I have said too much already.

        

42. Have you ever seen 'Finding Nemo'?

That's the one with the submarine right?

 

 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

 

Big Earl and Betty Lou's Slacks For The Husky Gentleman. They treat me like a human being and not an animal.

           

44. What's the last compliment you got?

"You don't smell like a homeless person."
        

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

 

More often than not. I repeat themes. Lots of shoeless feet and looking for shoes.

          

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

 

I like Red Rose, the brand. They used to give you the coolest little glass animals in each box and you would put them on your kitchen window sill and trade with the other grannies at the senior center for the ones you had doubles of...WHAT? It's what we did back then. It was quaint and charming.

 

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

 

4 - one for each season with some crossover. I want heated slippers that vibrate and keep my Poptarts warm.

          

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

 

Shamanism - that Sweat Lodge really clears out the pours and the cobwebs

 

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real? 

 

When I saw him at two malls in the same day. It was easier to believe he wasn't real than believing there was some kind of magic involved. I always found Santa to be alot of hype without very much proof of his great deeds. He's alot like Jeebus in that way. Like Cindy Lou Who (who was no more than two) I had to SEE the guy in my living room and hear the reindeer on the roof to buy the whole concept. It's the same with the whole Noah's Ark story. It's just so GOOFY and NO ONE could answer my questions in a manner that satisfied me. OMG I was a gloomy kid.

 

50. Why do you have a tumblr?

 

To stop the bells in my head. And CAN'T SOMEONE ANSWER THAT DAMN PHONE!!