Neko Case - Hold On, Hold On

There is something about this song that I just want to wail out there when I suffering from a good old soothing bout of sweet ennui. I could have attended two reunions this weekend but went to neither. I don't do reunions. Especially with people who had to wait thirty years or longer to get in touch with me, especially in the Information Age. Fuck that.

I also want to remember those times as I have them in my head. They exist like perfect little snow globes of memory. Everyone, including myself is beautiful and the world is the great adventure. I have no interest in seeing how life has beaten that hope out of everyone like it eventually has to.

Just getting to the point of being ABLE to attend a reunion is enough. I also can run each and every conversation that would happen through my head and the long silences would be deadly uncomfortable to endure. Leave me alone like you have all these years. That strategy has been working pretty good for both of us up until now. No reason to try to fix what isn't broken.

I actually feel a bit better now. I have been going through a combination of nostalgia and bitterness this weekend that is not as much fun as you would think it would be. I just want to make a huge plate of french fries but the carbs will make me sad and slow. Better to eat an apple instead and watch the end of THE CORE before returning to the fun.