Happy American Thanksgiving. The Second Best Thanksgiving Out There.

Today in the spirit of Thanksgiving, that uniquely American holiday that celebrates all that we are thankful for in our lives. Like the first Pilgrims who were so thankful to be saved by the Native Americans during those first shaky winters that they murdered them and spread European diseases that wiped out whole native populations. But don't worry. We now have all those Native Casinos taking old white people's money so revenge has been sweet.

I am thankful that during a snow warning I can enjoy a nice banana from Ecuador. What a magical, golden age I live in. Remember when you could ONLY get Mandarin Oranges in December? Now I see them all year and the magic of the mini orange is gone for me. You used to get one in your stocking and that was amazing to me. Where did this tiny orange come from? Why is it so good? I wish I could get a whole box of these so I could eat them everyday for a month. Who knew my wish would one day come true? I should have wished for a different Christmas miracle.