My Yearly Christmas Rant

I do a lot of work trying to understand myself. This blog is a testament to the rabid self interest I have in myself and myself alone. This is why I am alone and will ever be so. I could never find anyone I could love more than me. I will never find anyone as interesting as I am.

As far as other people go, it's a gift to me if I can't finish your sentences in my head while you are speaking. That means you are surprising me and I value that above all things. Just TRY to be interesting is all I ask.

Now I take this mantra to the extreme. My self centered nature is the source of my pain and joy. It's the deep pit of the Well of My Bitterness and the rage that keeps me warm at night. This is the magic that is me. May you all never have the curse of truly understanding who and what you are. It's almost the kind of curse the Gods would put on mortal man in some Greek tragedy. It's a suffering only my enemies should know.

Brother Colin quoted this about me. It from Kerouac who I find to be beyond pretentious but that is neither hear nor there. The quote perfectly describes me.

This quote from Jack Kerouac reminded me of you Calvin.

“So therefore I dedicate myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labours, my sufferences, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being.”

So this brings us to the Sound of Music and it's infamous puppet show. I have talked about this before but it always seems to come up during therapy. It is a perfect example how I see something that I think everyone else should see but they do not. It infuriates me that I am the only one who 'gets it'.

I have talked about this scene many times with many people and their reaction falls into one of two categories. Most don't understand what I see or don't notice the detail as they enjoy this beautiful holiday classic. Then there are the rare few who do get it. Or maybe I am the only one who sees it for the fraud it is and they are humoring me. Only I seem to care and I have felt this way about this ONE freakin scene since I was little and saw the movie for the first time.

My point is my madness is very specific to me and I understand how tough I am to be around when I can't deal with a stupid and IMPROBABLE puppet show. It's madness I tell you. But if I am the only one who sees it then who is truly mad here?

I think my Psychiatrist wants to watch this movie to see the scene.



First of all have you ever tried to manipulate a MARIONETTE and actually make it look like it is walking and talking and moving it's arms in a way that resembles a real person?? No you haven't because that skill takes YEARS to develop. In no way do these pre-war Austrian orphans pick up this ancient art in mere weeks. Nothing works that fast. Certainly Maria wasn't taught it in the convent.

Now they perfectly manipulate all kinds of puppets while SINGING IN PERFECT KEY.

Second the puppet show set itself is gorgeous and expensive. It would be 100, 000 Marks easily and at that time it was a shameful luxury for a family to have. Count the number of handmade and unique wooden puppets. That is real wool on the goats. The beer has real foam.

WHERE IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM??? I don't see an orchestra or record player.

Now the puppets are dancing in synch with perfect steps and choreography. Then goat puppets join them to also dance. Everyone yodels in key. Calvin wants to cut his wrists.

None of the marionettes get in the way of any other marionette even when the action is at it's most frenetic. It's insane that NOTHING goes wrong during this insanely complex three minute show.

Gretel is useless as always. Gretel is the weak link. Gotta cut her lose to save the family. She is only going to slow the rest of you down when you try to cross the Alps into Switzerland. So that cuts down your number of puppeteers to seven I believe. SEVEN PEOPLE MADE THIS SHOW HAPPEN???

No freakin' way. I can believe everything about the Sound of Music but that pushes even my ability to suspend reality. If I was the Colonel Von Trapp I would have stood up half way through this performance and said, "COME ON!" and stopped this fraud immediately.

They have this AMAZING puppet show but they SING for the talent show. EVERYONE else sang. The puppet show would have been great in a large theatre. Then we sing Edelweiss and the war is over.

Don't tell me what you think of what I just told you. I don't care. It's my truth. You can never make me believe no matter how many times I see. You will never break me Nazi Germany. Even at your height even your mighty Reich could not have done such a puppet show.